


Redirect

by Flameohotman



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blood, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Felix is pining but he doesn't know it yet, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Rough Sex, Smut, close to but not exactly rape, dimiclaude, mentions of dimiclaude, mentions of yurileth, sylvix - Freeform, trigger warning, yurlieth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23471623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flameohotman/pseuds/Flameohotman
Summary: Felix is slipping. His technique is growing worse by the day and he's almost died 10 times because of it. He's frustrated beyond belief, and his professor's suggestion of trying to "redirect" his anger is vague and unhelpful.Sylvain turns out to be rather sympathetic to Felix's cause, and offers a way to help that may just do the trick...
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 7
Kudos: 128





	1. Useless

**Author's Note:**

> Totally self-indulgent. Will update every day.
> 
> Fair warning that this is very explicit. 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

* * *

Upswing, counter, sidestep then _strike -_

_CLANG_

Felix’s vision hazed red as he watched his training sword spin wildly out of his hand, clanging loudly against the stone floor. It was as if the sword was taunting him as it continued to clank loudly on the ground back and forth before the momentum finally dissipated from the force. 

His teeth bit together and he thought he may draw blood from his palms as his nails dug into his clenched fists. He eventually forced his hazy vision to snap back to his instructor, blue hair glimmering in the annoyingly bright sun as he, almost unnoticeably, shook his head. 

“Why - _why can’t I land a hit!?”_ Felix belted in a mixture of a yell and pant as he slammed the training gauntlets to the ground - likely denting the poor material with the force. 

Byleth’s composure was, as usual, entirely unphased, and the man straightened from his battle stance, wiped the sweat from his brow and turned to stare at Felix with those characteristically emotionless eyes of his. 

The swordsman waited a beat - but his impatience quickly won over his self control. “WELL!? You’re the professor! Tell me what I’m doing wrong!” Felix knew his frustrated whining closely resembled that of a child, but at this point he didn’t care. 

The last week had been _awful._

He’d nearly lost count of the number of times his professor had appeared like a guardian spirit seconds before a bandit nearly gouged a serrated blade into his chest - how many times Ashe had knocked an arrow and loosed it to deflect the one that was moments away from piercing right into Felix’s skull - how much of Mercedes healing magic had been spent stitching up the various cuts and gashes that absolutely should _not_ have landed on Felix’s body yet seemed to pass through his defenses with ease. 

What the _fuck_ was going on. 

He’d had enough when he’d nearly lost his sword hand to a clumsy sidestep of a dodge - and had stormed into Byleth’s chamber at an ungodly hour of the night to demand a training bout. 

Of course, his professor being the way he was, blinked his eyes open, nodded his head serenely and followed him to the grounds. Now here they were, hours later, sun shining down, and Felix hadn’t landed even one blow and all he had to show for it was various bruises he’d gained from Byleth’s training blade. 

And it was very obvious the professor was going _easy_ on him. 

Byleth’s sigh was loud and grating against Felix’s ears, and it was barely within his self control not to storm up to the man and shake his shoulders until he gave him his answers. But he didn’t - and he watched as his teacher turned to retrieve Felix’s shamefully discarded sword and placed that and his own back on the rack. Matte blue eyes looked up to meet blazing amber, and there was an odd note in them that at first Felix couldn’t read, but he was almost getting the sense that it read of _pity._

Maybe he was just beyond frustrated, but that nearly sent him over the edge. 

He was just _so...irrationally…uncontrollably -_

“Angry.” 

Felix’s head shot up like an animal who’d just heard a loud noise, brows furrowed and eyes wide with a mixture of confusion and frustration. 

“What!?” 

“You’re too angry.” It was antagonizing the way the words came out so collective, so assuredly, as if that was obvious all along and Felix was just a small kid who didn’t understand even the most basic of things. 

“No - anger is what _makes me stronger_ \- there’s no way that’s the problem.” Sweat dripped down Felix’s brow, and he lifted the loose sleeve of his training shirt to aggressively wipe it away. 

Byleth’s eyes closed in understanding and he tilted his head before he explained patiently. “A controlled amount is good to motivate. But focusing the entirety of that into your swordplay is overbalancing your technique. You need to redirect.” 

“And I’m supposed to take _your_ word for that!?” Felix spat, fists once again forming at his side. “You’re an unfeeling _stone -_ ” 

Woah. He’d said some rude things before but that was even a little much for him. 

Luckily, he wasn’t exactly _wrong,_ and Byleth’s response to that was just a bored blink of his eyes as he stared at him. The professor’s loose white shirt rippled softly in the morning breeze as the words rang between them.

“You asked me here to train you.” He stated plainly, and that was really all it took to put Felix back in his place. He sighed angrily and crossed his arms and turned his head away. 

“Ah - here you are.” 

Felix’s blazing eyes turned towards the new voice that entered the vicinity, and he rolled them soon after as he watched as silver clothing shone elegantly in the sunlight as the leader of the Ashen Wolves stepped towards them. 

He knew for certain those words weren’t meant for him, and he watched with narrowed eyes as that man who was, if one asked Felix - _far_ too pretty for his own good (and he meant that literally) - sauntered casually up to his professor. 

Byleth’s attention had been stolen just like that, and perhaps his comment earlier was misplaced. 

He was sure there was something close to a twinkle in those blue eyes as he watched Yuri step closer. 

“I thought I’d heard something akin to a stampede from my home in the Underground - turns out it was just Felix throwing another temper tantrum.” 

Felix felt his jaw go slightly slack at the audacity of the comment, and had he his sword he was absolutely certain he would have chucked it right at that annoyingly attractive face. But he didn’t, and he could only watch in internal roiling anger as Byleth’s head bowed slightly and the ghost of a smirk tilted his lips. 

“What the hell do you want. We’re training.” Felix snapped, teeth bared slightly at the intruder.

“Is that what that was?” The shiny purple hair was pushed back in an elegant flip of a wrist, and it was almost annoying watching how closely Byleth studied the movement. 

“Yuri…” Byleth said almost inaudibly, tilting his head in a way that made the other man relent with a sigh and nod.

“Yes, alright -” Smooth, pink lips curved into a practiced smile as he addressed Felix with a small nod of his head. “Pardon the intrusion - but may I steal this _unfeeling stone_ for a moment?” Felix wasn’t sure why, but those words were uttered in a way that nearly made his spine shiver, and suddenly those purple eyes weren’t as easy-going as they normally were - that smile turning more sinister by the second.

He wasn’t entirely sure what this man was capable of, he’d heard the rumors though, and Felix decided against his original plan to tell him to _fuck off_ \- to leave them alone because he needed to abuse his poor professor a bit longer because of his own incompetence. 

He’d had enough of a beating at the moment anyway. 

“Hmph.” Dark blue hair swished in front of amber eyes as Felix turned away in a gruff, marching towards the exit with clenched fists at his side. 

“Felix.” 

The young man paused, slightly turning his head back to acknowledge he’d heard Byleth’s voice call after him. 

“It’s up to you how; but redirect it.” 

Felix didn’t say anything, and he took a breath before he walked on forward, storming out of the training room with a grunt. 

What the hell did that even _mean?_ Redirect it? How? Where? 

His teeth ground together as he tried to piece together what his professor could have meant and why he had to be so vague - he needed answers and he needed them _now._

~

_“Damn, Dimitri, nice shot. Cheap. But nice.”_

_“I - I thought he’d block it!”_

_“Felix!?”_

Felix’s ears rang loudly, the pulsating sound was like waves of the ocean as he attempted to grab onto his bearings. His blackened vision began to clear in the center, slowly expanding until the rest of his field of vision wasn’t a mess of a blur. 

Loose gravel scattered as short puffs of breath escaped through Felix’s mouth, the pain that radiated through his head and down his spine left him completely dazed and immobile. After a moment, he felt a hand on his back, and a warm tingly sensation gravitated throughout his body. 

_Healing magic._ He instantly knew. 

He let himself get _that hard._

On the _head._

The roaring in his ears faded away almost immediately, his vision cleared, and he shook his head as he attempted to lift himself off the ground. A gloved hand appeared in his vision, and the dark blue head craned to look upwards at the figure who was certainly not Dimitri or Claude. 

The professor. 

Fuck. 

He probably saw all of that. No - he _did_ see all of that.

Felix grunted as he refused the help, staggering to his feet as he held his side, ignoring the fading ache in his head as the magic continued to piece his knocked senses back together. 

“Felix!” 

The ache in his head suddenly returned as he heard Dimitri’s voice call out to him, and he shot the prince a glare but didn’t say anything in return. 

Dimitri’s pace halted, the blond very aware that he wasn’t wanted near him right at the moment and he awkwardly shifted the lance in his hands as he took a step back. 

The professor sighed again, and Felix nearly wanted to take a swing at him - he might have if he wasn’t clutching his side - it was the most _frustrating_ sound - 

“This isn’t what I meant.” 

Felix’s eyes shot towards Byleth’s, his brows raised in disbelief and anger. 

“I’m doing what you wanted!” He gestured wildly towards Claude and Dimitri - the two of them chatting in low voices while throwing glances towards them. 

When they noticed they’d been acknowledged, the two turned towards them and Claude placed a lazy arm up against Dimitri’s shoulder - the angle awkward considering the prince was far taller than the duke’s heir. Claude obviously didn’t care as he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yup. He asked for the best in our areas of expertise.” The royal said casually, spinning the axe in his hands in a lazy show of ease. “Here we are. Quite the team, too!” 

“Claude, please.” Dimitri soothed, though it was obvious by the small smirk in his lips that he thought the same.

Byleth shook his head slightly, closing his eyes. “I wanted you to redirect your anger.” 

“Yes - _I AM.”_ Felix protested, gesturing towards the axe in his hand. 

Obviously he was redirecting his anger into a different weapon set - that should help, right!?

“...”

Felix was fairly certain he heard a cracking sound in the back of his head - whether it was the axe in his hand or the sound of the last bit of resolve shattering - he wasn’t sure. 

Eyes blazed and Felix felt his entire face heat up in boiling fury - he would probably deny it later but he actually stomped his foot as he chucked his axe towards the empty air. With a roar the young man spun on his feet, nearly shoving Dimitri and Claude apart as he made his way towards the exit in a fit of rage. 

He could feel the three pairs of eyes on him as he slammed his way through the doors, but he barely spared it a second thought as he stomped through the courtyard. He received a few concerned glances as he stormed past the guards, past his fellow students, but he certainly didn’t have the mind to care. 

Fucking professor. Fucking technique - fuck trying to _redirect_ his anger or whatever the _fuck_ that meant - 

“Felix!” 

One of the _last_ voices he wanted to hear at the moment called from a small distance away, and the knight’s son hardly spared a glance at the oncoming gleam of red hair that trotted up towards him. 

“Felix, hey!” Sylvain called again, closer this time as he tried to fall in step beside him as their footsteps paced on the stone pathway. 

“Go _away,_ Sylvain.” Felix hissed, continuing on towards - well - wherever he was going. 

“Wow - no niceties today either, then?” The older man laughed, continuing to keep pace with him. “You’ve been training like a madman this week -” Felix could see Sylvain duck a bit in his peripheral vision as he tried to catch his gaze, “Why don’t you join me on a walk through town? We could get something to eat, enjoy the sunshine, pick up some girls -” 

The blue-haired man aggressively shoved the man away before he could continue that ridiculous sentence, but all it did was make Sylvain laugh playfully as he skirted around to walk backwards in front of him. “Okay come on, I was kidding,” Sylvain’s broad arms reached behind him to rest on the back of his redhead, stretching back in his very characteristic pose of nonchalance. “About the girls at least -” 

“Leave me alone.” Felix growled, trying to see around the broad set of shoulders of the man in front of him. “I’m serious.” He tried to rush past him, but Sylvain caught his shoulder before he could, once again darting in front of him so that Felix was forced to a stop. 

“Alright, fine - I was going to try and do this nicely and ask you when we were having a nice time - but seriously, Felix what is your _deal_ lately?” Sylvain huffed exasperatedly, eyes searching the other man’s face for a response. “Not that you’re not always a prickly kinda guy - but you’ve been worse than usual. Like - way worse.” Red strands of hair fell into light brown eyes as Sylvain’s head tilted to the side, hands propping on his hips as he asked in genuine concern. “What’s wrong?” 

If Felix was touched by the small amount of genuinity in his tone he didn’t show it, and his eyes remained fixed in a glare as he stared at the man in front of him. This was really not the time to be asking this question - not only for the fact that he had no idea how to answer it, but that Sylvain was probably the person that had the _worst_ ideas for a solution. 

“You can’t help me. Get out of my way.” The swordsman tried to make his way passed Sylvain once again, but he should have known how persistent Sylvain was when he wanted to be, and the other moved in front of him again as he tried to make his way though. 

Felix could feel his temperament roiling again at the motion, and he grit his teeth and bared them as he tried to contain the fury that was beginning to heat his entire body.

“Okay, so there _is_ something -” Sylvain said, holding up his hands as his eyes lit up - like the accomplishment of at least getting Felix to admit that was significant to him. “And hey - how do you know I can’t help? We’ve always helped each other before -” 

“YOU CAN’T HELP ME, YOU SHALLOW BASTARD. NOTHING GETS YOU UPSET - NOW _MOVE!”_ The yell startled out a few of the cats and dogs that had been minding their own business, and Sylvain’s eyes widened considerably at the loss of control. His step back from the onslaught was at least a bit satisfying as Felix glared holes into the other man’s head. 

“Nothing gets me upset? What does that have to do with -” 

Felix was too slow - or maybe Sylvain had just gotten smarter - but the fist that came barreling towards Sylvain’s face missed by inches, but that didn’t stop another barrage of kicks and fists he had to swiftly dodge - each one getting closer to their target. 

“FELIX! FELIX STOP -” 

“You wanted to help, right!? THEN FIGHT ME, YOU BASTARD -” 

“Felix - what are you doing!? STOP!” Sylvain had been caught off guard at first, but likely due to the happenings of this in the past, quickly adapted to the wild swings that were sent his way, defending with his arms as he was slowly pushed back further and further towards the stone wall behind them. 

“ALRIGHT -” Sylvain had clearly had enough, and switched his defense to offense in a quick slip of his foot, stepping around Felix the moment the blue-haired man went to strike at him again simultaneously grabbing his flailing wrists and swinging him around so he and Felix switched spots. 

Felix grunted as he was slammed up against the wall, eyes crinkling in pain as the force of it nearly knocked the wind out of him. He was only momentarily disoriented, and he struggled mindlessly against the iron grip that trapped his wrists against the wall behind him. 

“FELIX. Will you cool it!?” Sylvain panted out a harsh breath, staring wide eyed at the shorter man before him. “What has gotten into you!?” 

A last attempt to struggle free of Sylvain’s shockingly powerful grip was in vain, and Felix’s body finally slouched in defeat, head turned away as his fixed glare stared in defiance away from the other man. 

Finally a long, frustrated sigh escaped between Felix’s lips as he bowed his head. “My...I’m slipping - or - losing my - or - I don’t _know -”_ He tried to find the right words but it was _humiliating_ and depressing all at the same time. “My swordplay - something's wrong - it’s like I forgot how to fight - the professor says it’s because I need to _redirect_ my anger or whatever the _fuck_ that means.” He spat, arms falling to his side as Sylvain finally released them, only to quickly fold again in front of him. “I can’t figure out how - or what he means by that…”

Sylvain cocked his head at him, smirking slightly in a small show of sympathy as he let Felix continue. 

That gesture was all it took to ignite the anger in Felix’s head again as he thought about how easily pissed he got at his childhood friend. Every time he saw that cocky smile after a _good night._ Every time he saw those idiot girls crowd around him, how easily they fell into his lap by the _stupidest_ and _cheesiest_ pick up lines -

“But now that I think about it -” Dark eyes turned to glare at the man in front of him, Felix’s posture straightening. He reached up a hand to grab a fistful of Sylvain’s stupidly exposed undershirt. “You...you're a nuisance in battle, you slack off every opportunity to train, you're constantly getting in trouble - getting ME in trouble..." His voice edged lower, lip twitching with every syllable. "And every time I see you flirt with a girl with that stupid _shallow_ smile -” His fist clenched tighter and he sucked in a sharp breath as he continued “ - maybe I just need to redirect it at _you.”_

Silence rang between them as Sylvain blinked down at him, eyes wide with a mixture of confusion and surprise. Then it was almost like something - some wheels in that ridiculous head of his began to spin, and they all clicked together when the taller man’s lips slowly began to curve upward in an odd way. 

Felix’s grip loosened on Sylvain’s shirt, dropping his hand in turn. He was entirely caught off guard by the response and the impending sense of dread that was slowly creeping through him as he watched Sylvain’s eyes grow just a bit darker. Coupled with that smile - Felix felt like he was being towered over by a large predator ready to pounce on its prey. 

“Hmm…” The redhead hummed, dark, almost like a rumble and Felix would have stepped back if the wall behind him hadn’t stopped him. He watched in utter confusion as Sylvain lifted one arm so that it was braced against the wall above him, effectively trapping Felix in front of him. Sylvain’s tall form leaned closer over him with a wolfish smirk. His voice was low, and Felix was suddenly thankful that this particular area of the courtyard was out of sight from the public eye. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Felix finally ground out, but the question hardly helped his situation, instead Sylvain’s smile only grew broader. 

“Felix...I think you need to redirect your anger, too.” Sylvain’s face was shadowed by the sun he blocked behind him, and suddenly Felix was acutely aware of their height difference as the man stared down at him. He leaned closer, until his lips almost brushed against Felix’s ear. “But maybe not with your fists.” Sylvain pulled back, their faces only inches from each other and Felix wished that the wall behind him would give way with how hard he was pushing himself against it.

Felix glared, turning his head slightly and once again finding himself wanting to flatten himself into a pancake to put _some_ distance between them _._ “What the hell does that mean?” He ground out at last, resisting the urge to push the other man away with all of his might. 

He felt his body freeze in place when he sensed first, then felt a large hand rise, and suddenly a thumb gently brushed over his lips as cool fingers touched the side of his face, leaving goosebumps where they made contact.

That was it. 

With a satisfying _smack_ Felix whacked away that hand - glaring daggers of ice into Sylvain’s eyes. “HEY! What the HELL are you doing!?” The dark haired-man snarled, teeth bared as if he’d actually consider taking a snap at him.

Sylvain pulled a few steps back, hands raised and instantaneously the odd atmosphere disappeared. “Okay, okay, I get it - I was trying to do this right but I guess charm isn’t a good way to seduce you.” 

Felix felt as though his eyes might pop out of his head with how wide his eyes had grown, and he was left speechless as Sylvain continued. “But listen,” his broad arms folded against his chest, and he popped a hip to the side as his expression became increasingly more sly. “I don’t think the professor meant to redirect your anger by _beating people up.”_ He rolled his eyes, “That’s actually probably your _issue…_ ” He mumbled that part, then placed a hand on his hip as he gestured forward. “But - if there’s one thing I know better than probably anyone around here - is that there _is_ one sure fire way to relieve stress and _anger.”_

Amber eyes flared as they watched those dark brows wiggle up and down. It was _way too_ obvious what that son of a bitch was suggesting. 

“What...the _fuck,_ Sylvain!?” 

“Hey - why do you think I’m so calm and collected all the time?” Sylvain continued, ignoring the look of disbelief and mild disgust that Felix was trying to convey. “You’re too pent up.” Felix ground his teeth nearly to dust when Sylvain pointedly stared directly at his lower region, feeling more exposed in these loose training clothes than his usual attire. 

Sylvain smirked that wolf-like smirk again, and Felix wasn’t sure if he wanted to attack him or run for his life. But the redhead continued on anyway,“You need some relief. And to _redirect that anger.”_

Felix found himself unable to respond, blankly staring in the flames of anger he could feel burning in his chest. 

This...bastard. 

“And if there’s one person who can help you - it’s me.” Sylvain chuckled at Felix's inability to respond, but he finally turned away with a wave of his hand. “So just lemme know whenever you want help with _that._ Consider it a favor for all the times you’ve saved my sorry ass -” If Sylvain hadn’t turned at just that moment he may have been hit square in the face by the training gauntlet that came sailing towards him with tremendous speed. But he was quick, and he dodged swiftly before skipping around the corner wall with a laugh. 

“You insatiable rutting lion!” Felix hollared, chest heaving in absolute fury as burning eyes stared towards the corner he was using as a shield. 

“Offer remains open whenever you want!” Sylvain called, peeking his head around the edge of the wall. My room’s only a few steps from yours -” This time, the stone that came flying towards Sylvain nearly took his head off, and he actually yelped as he ducked away to dodge the attack. 

Felix was left with the echo of Sylvain’s laugh in his head as well as his words, and the longer he thought about it the angrier he became until he felt his cheeks flush red from fury. 

What the actual _hell_ was that man thinking!? 

“I am actually going to kill that asshole.” Felix muttered to himself, making his way forward and glaring at the series of glances he got from the passersby who were clearly concerned as to why he was so flushed. 

They can mind their own fucking business. 

~

It’s been a week. An entire fucking week. 

Nothing had changed - Felix was still scrambling for his bearings - still struggling to land a hit - and every single time he would picture Byleth’s small sigh, almost inaudible, and the shake of his head as Felix growled and grumbled and stomped out of their training session. 

He had even begun asking for advice. 

Annette had said he should try some magic - maybe focusing on an entirely different kind of combat would help. 

It didn’t. He nearly exploded the roof off their classroom. 

Lysithea had the great suggestion of eating _cake._ And he’d _done_ it. 

Okay, oddly that hadn’t been too bad, but it didn’t help with his situation at all. 

Caspar had advised they fight - just an all out brawl - which essentially turned into a mosh pit when Raphael joined in. 

That hadn’t helped. 

He’d tried studying, distracting himself with bow practice with Claude, subjecting himself to breathing exercises with Shamir - 

He’d tried _everything_ and nothing helped. 

Sylvain immediately popped into his head and he could hear the words _“not everything.”_ In his voice - it almost sent Felix over the edge of the bed. 

Blue hair was sprawled messily over Felix’s pillow as the young man tossed and turned - the moonlight shining through his window was annoyingly bright and he wished he could throw a dagger at it to snuff the light. 

_Fuck._

“Fuck.” He voiced out loud, hands running down his face as he glared up at the ceiling. 

He was truly out of options. Truly. And he _must_ get his knack back. He has too. It’s the most important thing in his life. He needs it to defend those who can’t - he needs it to strike down those who deserve to die - and he needs to be able to stay _alive_ to do that and if he can’t land a hit or even _dodge one_ -

“FUCK!” He belts again and and hands cover his eyes as he squeezes them shut. 

This...really is his last resort. Whatever ideas that moron had in his head - he can’t astutely disregard any suggestion that might help. His life - _other’s_ lives depend on it. 

Felix whips around and slams a hand into his pillow, sitting himself upright as he fiercely glares at the door in front of him. 

That idiot better be up. 

He ignores the way he feels his heart in his throat, swallowing rapidly as he feels the dread of his decision rise. But more than that - he is _angry._

He rips off the blankets covering the thin nightclothes he’s wearing, storms towards the door, body thrumming with frustration as he yanks open the door - nearly off its hinges. He spares a suspicious glance down the hallway, ensuring that there’s no lingering eyes around to watch him as he…

As he...

Felix opted to dig his nails into the palms of his hand instead of pounding a fist through a wall as his footsteps, heavy like lead, marched themselves directly towards Sylvain’s room. He feels like Sylvain’s room should not have taken so few strides to get to - but it did - and he raises a hand to knock. 

He stops himself from literally pounding the door down - already wanting this to be _over_ \- but he takes a breath, trying to steel himself, and quietly raps on the wood. 

He clenches his jaw, anticipating the time it will take for Sylvain to likely wake up, determine that sound was not a dream - or wait - what if he’s out with a girl -

Faster than Felix had ever imagined, the door in front of him swings open rapidly - and Sylvain’s wide, bright eyes are staring directly at him, mouth hanging open slightly. 

That was fast. 

Felix doesn’t return the same expression, instead eyes narrowing into a ferocious glare as he crosses his arms in front of him. “Expecting someone _else?”_ He hisses, trying to keep his voice down but his anger is already seeping through his words. 

It takes Sylvain a few blinks, like he’s trying to assure himself that this isn’t a dream, and he shakes his head before standing up straighter. “I - I - no. I wasn’t. I was...was curious who’d be by at this hour.” 

The swordsman rolls his eyes and huffs his disbelief. 

Yeah, right. 

“Well, whoever you were expecting better not come by. You’re going to be busy.” Felix brushes past Sylvain, the doorway too narrow not to make contact but Sylvain easily allows his shoulder to give way as his friend enters the room. 

“I...seriously wasn’t expecting anyone else…” 

Felix thinks he imagines that mumbled sentence, but he’s too busy trying to control his anxiety to really care, and he looks around the room - expecting to see some sign of Sylvain’s deeds with women here - but the room is surprisingly clean. 

Surprisingly. 

A candle is lit on the desk, the bed is neatly made and it looks like Sylvain had been doing some studying before he’d entered. 

Felix knew, more than most, that Sylvain wasn’t _completely_ dumb. In fact he was very smart. But he just didn’t like to show it. 

So the studying part didn’t really surprise him. 

But the tidy part....

He _had_ to be expecting someone. 

Shoving the thoughts from his mind he turns to glare at the man in front of him, awkwardly crossing his arms in a defensive posture as he tries to sort out exactly what to do next. 

Sylvain still doesn’t say anything, he just steps a little further into the room and it’s making Felix _crazy_ waiting for him to say something _._

Finally, he can’t take it anymore, and his arms unfurl as he clenches his fists at his side. “Okay, FINE I’ll speak first -” Felix growls, and the next barrage of his sentence is just a jumble of mess - because he hadn’t thought this through _at all._ “Just - do what you want - I can’t figure out any other way and I have tried _everything._ EVERYTHING. Nothing is helping and this is my last resort, okay!? I’m taking you up on your offer and a solid you owe me - if I can’t get my knack back I’m absolutely useless so if this will help, then…” His words are a jumbled mess - and he’s pretty sure he knocked over a book when his arms flailed out by his side, but he’s too disorganized to think and Sylvain is just _standing there_ smirking at him - “SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO -” 

His loud sentence is entirely cut off when Sylvain’s figure swoops towards him. He feels his face gently cupped by two calloused hands, and suddenly his mouth is being encased by a pair of firm but soft lips. It leaves Felix entirely breathless. All he can hear is his heartbeat thundering in his chest, and he stares wide-eyed in front of him. He thinks his body has been frozen in place by some kind of spell, but he feels a tongue lick over his lips, as if to seal the kiss, and his knees nearly buckle out from under him and he has to brace his arm on the shelf behind him to steady himself.

The small chuckle brings Felix slightly back into his senses and Sylvain pulls back just slightly, hands still cupping the sides of Felix’s face as he smirks softly at him. “Alright. Let me take care of you, okay?” 

Felix can feel his heart hammer in his chest, and he almost feels short of breath at the glassy brown eyes that stare carefully at him - _through_ him. 

“...idiot.” Felix mumbles, but all it does is elicit another low chuckle, and Sylvain dips down to once again to trap Felix’s lips with his own.

Sylvain’s mouth expertely works around Felix’s own, and Felix is certain there’s some kind of technique or magic Sylvain is using because it’s almost against his will when Felix opens his mouth to let Sylvain’s tongue slide in, dirty and free roaming wherever he pleases. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he’s aware that he’s moving his lips and actually kissing him back - but the sensation of Sylvain’s hands crawling underneath his shirt, roaming up and down his sides, feeling the skin there for all his own contentment is clouding his ability to think. 

He’s shivering slightly, but he’s definitely not cold. 

Felix is breathless, his body reacting oddly in the hands of the other. He can’t understand why he’s like putty in that moment, his body is easily lead to the bed without breaking the kiss, and he’s pushed down with ease. The feeling of Sylvain’s body over his is intense, and he lets out a small sound of surprise when he feels Sylvain’s hand slide up his chest to tease a nipple. 

“Damn…” Sylvain purrs in between their interlocking tongues, sliding to the side of Felix’s face to start nipping at his jawline. “I knew you had a good body, but…”

Felix turns his head away, unsure if he’s doing it to allow Sylvain more access to his neck or if he actually wants to _turn away_ \- “Shut - _mn_ \- shut up - I’m not a girl. I’m not gonna fall for your meaningless flattery.” Felix grinds out, too prideful to admit that Sylvain’s hands are warm and they touch in all the right places.

“I’m serious.” Sylvain murmurs, as if to make his point clearer he slides his face down to his neck, kissing and feeling brave enough to take a harsh bite at the flesh there.

Felix jolts, barely restraining the moan that almost slipped through. He was simultaneously disgusted and shocked that his body reacted to that sensation. He tries to cover it up by smacking a hand over Sylvain's head, the force of it embarrassingly weak. "You - asshole. If you leave any marks on me I _swear_ to the goddess..." Felix can feel the heat rise in his cheeks, a hand coming up to defensively cover the area where Sylvain had nipped. 

Sylvain's answer is a smirk, head ducking down to trap Felix's mouth in another kiss while one of his hands gently eases away the hand Felix was using to cover his neck. "Mm...sorry." He murmurs against his mouth, and Felix tries not to shiver at the sound and feeling of the hot breath against his cheek.

Sylvain takes his chance when Felix's defenses are down to slide his hands down, then upwards, taking Felix’s loose shirt with him then tossing it to the side. 

There’s a weird look in Sylvain’s eye that Felix can’t describe, but Sylvain actually pauses, braced over him. His eyes roam _everywhere_ \- like he’s trying to take the entirety of Felix’s body in all at once. It’s not necessarily an admiring gaze, it’s darker...more…

More possessive. 

It makes Felix squirm uncomfortably, and Sylvain almost seems to enjoy that sight, the dark curve of his smile tilting further upwards as he dips down again. This time the kiss is more fervent as Sylvain’s tongue slides over his lips, forcing them open and it rakes through Felix’s mouth - the sensation wet and warm and _good._

He finds it easy to match Sylvain’s rhythm, his body unconsciously curving upwards into the warm hand curved under it. He feels the world is a bit hazy, but something clicks in his head, and suddenly he’s nervous - pushing a hand against Sylvain to push him away. He wishes it had more strength to it, but it’s more like a gentle plea rather than a forceful motion - but Sylvain complies, pulling back just enough to look at Felix’s face. 

“You...why...what’s the point of this.” Felix’s voice comes out in breathless puffs. He tries to convey his annoyance, but he can feel how flushed his face is, the indignity of it. His body is tingling with the sensation of the motions traveling through his body to pool in the lower part of his belly. 

Again, he’s not sure if he’s a masochist because he’s beginning to react strangely when Sylvain chuckles lowly like that, and he feels vulnerable for a moment. “To make you feel good, of course. I’m not a monster.” The redheaded man replies steadily. 

Felix disagrees with that statement entirely. “Just...just get on with it.” He pants, resisting the urge to simultaneously push Sylvain off of him and pull him against him until they’re flush against one another.

Another chuckle sends another sensation straight to his lower region and he shifts uncomfortably as he feels himself begin to strain against his pants. 

“Yes, yes, alright.” Sylvain murmurs, and before Felix knows what’s happening Sylvain is slowly slinking down Felix’s chest, leaving wet trails of his tongue, occasionally nipping at the skin as he works his way downwards. 

Felix almost can’t stop himself from bucking his hips when Sylvain’s hand slides into his pants, teasing the flesh there until it firmly wraps around his already hard cock. The grip is just enough pressure that Felix almost cries out, but bites down on the back of his hand instead. 

“It’s okay to admit this feels good, Felix.” Sylvain’s voice is oddly loud in his head, but Felix is concentrated on the motions that Sylvain starts to make - the strokes long and easy at first, starting in a steady rhythm. 

It does. It feels... _so good._

“I - _mn_ \- I can - I can do this _myself, idiot_ \- “

Sylvain chuckles darkly, hand stroking in a more languid, purposeful pace, as if the words had amused and angered him at the same time. “You can do this by yourself?” To accentuate his point, Felix represses a shudder when Sylvain’s tongue slides up the sensitive skin near his groin, to his navel. The wet sensation makes Felix’s eyes roll back in pleasure, and he feels himself twitch as Sylvain begins to bite tenderly at the skin until he makes his way up towards his chest. Felix hardly has the self control to restrain the soft moan he lets slide through the hand he was trying to silence his mouth with. His head falls back as the hot tongue swirls circles around his nipple sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through his body and right into his groin. 

Sylvain teases the flesh there, the hand around Felix’s cock picking up the pace as he begins to kiss at the skin around his chest, making his way up to Felix’s neck.

Felix can feel himself starting to give into the rhythm Sylvain established, his hips unconsciously bucking into his grip, and it makes Sylvain hum with contentment. Felix bites down harshly on his hand, forcing himself to keep the small bit of dignity he has left and not cry out when Sylvain once again uses his teeth on his neck, the pleasure of it nearly sending him over the edge. 

Sylvain responds accordingly, stroking faster, more deliberately, and he breathes hot air against Felix’s neck as he speaks. “You can come, Felix. Don’t hold back.” 

Felix wasn’t exactly sure if he _had_ been waiting for permission, but that seemed to be all it took, and his body tensed in a jolt as his hips bucked against Sylvain’s grip as he released, entire form shuddering as he spent the last of his energy. 

Hot, panting breaths filled the room, and Felix was sure he was seeing stars as he tried to blink away his daze. They both lay there - the moments ticking on as Felix tried to gain an understanding of his surroundings again.

That...was…

When Felix finally focuses his vision, he can see Sylvain staring at him, eyes a bit wide, a bit concerned, a bit curious, a bit nervous - 

“Get off.” Felix’s voice is hoarse rasp, and he lifts an arm to weakly push Sylvain out of the way as he sits up. 

He can’t bring himself to look at the other in the room, instead wildly searching for his discarded shirt which he found in a moment's time. He plucks it from the ground, using it to shakily wipe at his sticky stomach. He can feel Sylvain’s light brown eyes on him - every motion he makes. He tries to pointedly ignore it - but it’s undoing his resolve, and it was all he could do to quickly fasten his pants and head for the door. 

His hand on the handle, Felix doesn’t bother looking back before he rips open the door. He steps out, but pauses, turning his head slightly to address the man behind him. “...thanks.” Was all that was mumbled, and he didn’t give Sylvain a chance to respond before he had already stepped out and shut the door behind him. 

He had already assured himself that no one was in the hallway, and he tries not to feel like a rat escaping to its nest as he scurries down the hallway towards his room. His hands fumble with the doorknob as he attempts to open it, and he curses under his breath as he barely accomplishes opening the door. 

Once inside, Felix tosses his shirt aside, laying back against the closed wooden door to take a moment simply to breathe. 

Oh...goddess. 

Blue hair was already a tangled mess, but he was only more certain of that as he slid his hands through the strands, acutely realizing how sweaty his hair was. His bare back slowly slid down the door, his legs suddenly too weak to keep him upright and he sat heavily down on the ground. 

He can still feel the heavy pounding of his heart, and he can’t quite understand why it still thundered in his ears like it did. 

That was - he barely had the words to describe it. 

_What_ was that? 

Felix took in a shuddering breath, pulling his knees towards him as he braced one arm over them, the other threaded through his hair as he tried to chase away the feeling of Sylvain all over him. In his mouth, on his chest - his hand circled around - 

The young man grunted, throwing his head back against the wooden door - probably too loudly - and closed his eyes as he focused on breathing. 

Clenching his teeth, he gathered the last of his energy and stood to his feet. He made his way over to the small basin of water, using a small towel to dip and finishing wiping away the rest of the mess on his stomach. 

It was humiliating. 

But...it was necessary. 

Necessary. Felix nodded to himself. 

Vaguely he thought perhaps he had probably left Sylvain a little unsatisfied. His thoughts roaming dangerously around the idea of what the man might do about _that -_ but he shook that thought away angrily. 

Felix grunted as he changed out of his clothing, exchanging one set for another before he flopped himself on his bed, eyes staring unblinking at the moonlight that softly illuminated the blue carpeting on his floor. 

The night pressed on, and Felix felt his energy slowly begin to seep out of him, and his eyes closed. He wanted to open them again, as the first thing he saw was those eyes - usually so bright and carefree - suddenly so dark and full of _want_ \- 

Felix let out a steam of air through his nose, forcing his eyes to stay shut. 

Needless to say, his dreams were odd that night - full of red and the darkest light eyes he'd ever seen.   
  



	2. Distracted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some blood in it due to rough sex/almost rape. Fair warning if anyone is triggered by that. 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

* * *

The next morning was bright, and Felix breathed in the fresh air of the early morning, amber eyes catching the light of the sun as he lifted his head to look ahead at his surroundings as he walked down the stone pathway. 

He felt...weird. 

Maybe it was because the first thing he saw when he looked in the mirror that morning were two bright red spots on the side of his neck, which he slapped a hand over immediately - the face in the reflection flushing bright red. 

That...fucking…

He hissed out a series of curses at the revelation, and in the same moment he noticed that the hand he was using to cover his neck also had a series of bite marks - this time of his own making. He groaned loudly, dipping a head as he silently began to curse Sylvain’s name in every way he knew how. 

The only way he kept himself from thinking of the multiple ways he could decapitate a particular redhead was the relief he got from the fact that the high-collared shirt he wore easily covered the two marks, and he had let out a puff of air in satisfaction.

But he still felt off as he had made his way out of his room.

He wasn’t sure why, maybe it was because his dreams had been _strange_ and when he’d woken he hadn’t necessarily felt like he’d slept well. It was like he had this nagging sense in the back of his mind that something was off - and that he needed to fix it. 

The problem was he had no idea what that was. 

His form. _His form_ is what that was. Right?

So he proceeded to get ready for the day, grab his equipment, and say a silent prayer to the goddess that whatever ungodly thing he had done last night had actually paid off. 

Last night. 

Felix shut his eyes and clenched his teeth. 

He was really unsure why he felt so uneasy, but his stomach turned slightly at the images that flashed through his head. 

He lifted his head, nodding slightly when he caught sight of Annette’s bright smile as she and Mercedes passed by. 

“Morning, Felix! Off to train?” The small girl asked, chipper as usual with an armful of books. 

“Indeed.” He answered, nodding in greeting towards Mercedes who’s serene smile complimented the excitement in Annette’s tone. 

“Dedicated as always.” The taller girl said calmly, nodding in approval. 

“Let me know whenever you want to pick up magic again, I’m sure Mercie and I can help you out with anything you need!” Orange hair bounced in the sunlight as Annette excitedly tipped her feet up. 

Felix tried not to cringe at the remembrance of his absolute failure the last time he’d trained with Annette, but he nodded regardless, repressing a heavy sigh.

“Then best of luck today!” Annette’s bright eyes crinkled in a smile, and the two girls continued forward after Felix nodded in acknowledgement. 

Those two were always far too kind for their own good. Another reason he needed to get back to his normalcy - they needed protection. 

He steeled himself as he proceeded towards the training ground, adjusting the grip on his sword as he passed the pathways towards the tea-garden. He shouldn’t have turned - but it was against his will when he noticed the shiny strands of red hair glistening in the sunlight, and he couldn’t stop himself from looking in that direction. 

Of course, there was Sylvain. 

Chatting up a girl. 

Felix rolled his eyes, but he noticed too late that he’d accidentally caught Sylvain’s gaze, and he quickly, probably too quickly, looked away and proceeded onwards towards the training ground. 

His ears automatically adjusted to try and make out Sylvain’s voice, so he caught it instantly when he heard the other man dismiss the girl he was chatting with, and soon enough those familiar footsteps trotted up to his side. 

“Felix,” Sylvain called, and Felix felt the oddest urge to  _ bolt -  _ but he stayed his feet and walked forward steadily. 

He didn’t say anything, offering a small turn of his head in acknowledgement instead. 

The atmosphere was slightly awkward as the seconds ticked on between them, but of course he should have known that Sylvain was a master at pacifying situations like this, and that easy grin slid onto his face as he clasped his hands behind his back, ducking forward slightly to try and catch Felix’s gaze. 

“Sooooo, feel better?” He asked, wiggling those dark eyebrows as they both marched forward. 

“Not sure. We’ll see today at practice.” Felix replied monotonously, adjusting the grip on his blade slightly as a weird anxiety crawled through his skin at the sound of his voice. 

He was just anticipating the training session. That was all. 

Felix could sense that Sylvain wanted to say more - probably wanted to smooth things over. But as professional as Felix had thought Sylvain would be at this, the guy was oddly awkward, and he cleared his throat instead and reached up a hand to scratch the back of his neck in a nervous tick. 

“Er...okay…” He said, trying to plaster an easy smile on his face as Felix side glanced at him. After an awkward pause, he didn’t have much to say, and the man let out a sigh before he slowed his steps, shrugging in a casual way. “Well - best of luck, then. I’ll see ya around.” 

Felix watched him go with a narrowed expression. He rolled his eyes and picked up the pace of his steps. 

What a weirdo. It was just a bit of foreplay. It’s not like much happened. Nothing even went  _ in -  _

_ No. Absolutely not - stop right there Felix Hugo Fraldarius.  _

Dark hair flew in front of his face as Felix rapidly shook away that thought, teeth gritting as he started in a small sprint towards the training ground. 

His face was hot because he was excited to train. That was all.

~

_ CLANG  _

Felix stood rooted in place - the shock of his blade flying out of his hand,  _ once again,  _ stilling him into a statue as he stared unseeing forward, one of his eyes twitching slightly in disbelief. 

No - what he truly had disbelief about was the fact that it was worse. 

_ So. So much worse.  _

They were not even 10 minutes into their bout and Felix’s sword had gone flying for the third time. 

He’d asked his opponent to give him all he’s got - and Yuri was clearly  _ all too happy  _ to oblige to that. 

The trickster backed out of his battle stance, his victory secured yet again and he turned his head towards the blue head that came striding forward to stand at his side. 

Byleth’s eyes remained steady, despite what Felix could  _ feel  _ was disappointment edging around his expression as he took his stance beside the house leader.

“Felix.” 

Felix didn’t need any more than that, his resolve snapped and he ripped one of the gauntlets off of his arms in a fit of rage, throwing it on the ground as he crouched down, head in his hands as he tried to quell the burning rage in his chest that threatened to spill over in a scream. 

“I...what... _ what’s wrong with me.”  _ The question was asked in a series of panted breaths. His hands pulled at his hair, the tie holding it together loosening as he tugged at the strands.

“Oh. He’s lost it.” 

Yuri’s voice sounded muffled in Felix’s ears, and it barely did anything to shake him out of his momentary lapse in sanity. 

“Felix.” Byleth’s mellow voice actually reached him, and he saw the two booted feet step in front of him as a gloved hand reached down towards him. 

Felix absentmindedly wondered if there would ever be a day when he felt like he was worthy of accepting that hand to pull him up, and he turned away as he stood to his feet, ignoring the extension of help once again. 

“Felix -” 

Byleth tried a third time to get a response, and finally the young man whirled on him, eyes a roaring flame as he extended his hands on either side of him. 

“WHAT? What!? What is it!? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!?” He belted, vision red at the edges as he made to chuck his other gauntlet in a mindless direction. 

That direction (and he really hadn’t meant to) sailed directly towards Byleth, but the swiftness of the training blade in Yuri’s hand was a blur of grace, and the gauntlet was pierced through as the Ashen Wolf’s block effectively saved Byleth from having his teeth knocked out. 

The motion was so swift that Felix could only subconsciously admire it, and he watched as Byleth’s wide eyes blinked rapidly in front of him, obviously not prepared to have an object chucked at his head and at the same moment be saved from it. Blue eyes turned to pass a grateful glance at the purple-haired man beside him, Yuri’s own gaze a mixture of rage and disbelief as he shucked the gauntlet off the sword with a loud  _ clang.  _

“This one’s got some serious issues.” He growled, taking another protective step forward. “Sure you don’t want me to be your bodyguard?” Felix wasn’t exactly sure that was a jest. 

That man loved spending his time in step with his professor. 

Byleth sighed, placing a hand on Yuri’s shoulder before he shook his head. “He didn’t mean it.” The professor turned back to address Felix, folding his arms against his chest as he regarded him.

“You’re distracted today.” 

Felix’s eyes shot towards the professor, the simple statement making his blood boil. 

Denial instantly flooded through him, and he shook his head in defiance, “I am  _ not  _ distracted -” 

“You’re distracted. And you’re overcompensating because of it.” Byleth restated firmly, eyes set and knowing. 

_ Distracted. And too angry. _

He really saw right through him. 

Felix truly didn’t have anything to say to that, and crossed his arms in front of him and turned his head away. 

He almost jolted away from the hand that landed on his shoulder, Byleth’s gaze calm and steady as he regarded him. “You need to reset. Try relaxing for today, take some time to think about what’s distracting you. Then redirect. Sort it out. We’ll try again tomorrow.” 

He...really was a patient person, wasn’t he?

Felix let out a sigh through his nose, head falling into his hand as he heard Byleth pause and turn slightly to wait for Yuri to accompany him. 

Brown eyes looked away from the house leader as Yuri put the sword back, not wanting the trickster to notice the humiliation in his face at the entirety of the session that had just transpired. 

To his surprise, he felt a hand on his shoulder as Yuri passed him. A gentle pat of reassurance, and when Felix turned in surprise towards the other, he saw what he could only describe as a mixture of sympathy and assurance pass through his eyes before he turned to trail behind Byleth as they left the grounds. 

That did little to make him feel better though.

~

He spent the rest of the day attempting to do exactly what his professor had suggested. 

Well. Almost. 

He had managed to spend the majority of the day away in the woods, tossing daggers at random targets, trying to sift through his raging thoughts as he did so. 

It had really only ended up in the poor mutilation of a tree branch and angry cursing. 

_ Distracted.  _

The words rang through Felix’s head like a mantra, and he ground his teeth together as he lay in his bed, trying to piece together what that had meant. 

Of course he knew what it meant - and  _ that  _ meant that whatever fucking game Sylvain had played last night had not only not helped - it had  _ backfired.  _

That was the conclusion he had come to finally in the late night - and the moment he had snapped into that realization - his anger was too great to quell, and he’d spent the majority of the night trying to find sleep against the heat he felt brimming in his chest. 

_ Distracted.  _

By what!? 

Felix’s fists clenched. 

Distracted by...images of that red hair tickling his chest as Sylvain’s head slid down his chest, distracted by the thought of how warm the tongue was that lapped at the sensitive parts of his body, how it felt when Sylvain’s touch had sent him over the edge -

A fist nearly snapped the headboard as Felix’s fingers dug into the wood, and his body suddenly shot upright, eyes a roaring fire he was sure would burst that wooden door into flames the longer he stared at it.

His movements felt possessed as the dark-haired man stormed towards the door - once again nearly unhinging it as he ripped it open. He was fairly certain the entire hallway could hear his footsteps as he pounded down through, hardly stopping as he reached Sylvain’s door. 

Not even sparing the thought to knock, Felix’s hand nearly tore off the door handle as he barged his way through. 

Sylvain’s wide, astonished eyes met his. 

Honestly he hadn’t even expected Sylvain to be here. Usually at this hour he was chasing some girl’s skirt or in their room doing goddess knows what. 

But there he was - loose night clothes hugging legs that propped up on his desk as he leaned back in his chair, clearly in the middle of reading something of worth if it had managed to grab his attention. 

The book looked like it had slipped a few inches in Sylvain’s hands as the surprise intrusion caught him completely off guard. For a while it was only Felix’s heaving chest they could hear making sounds in the room. 

Slowly Felix raised a finger towards him, stepping forward as he simultaneously slammed the door behind him.  _ “You.” _

“I -?” 

Sylvain wasn’t given a chance to finish before Felix charged him, both hands grabbing a fistful of that loose shirt as he nearly collided Sylvain’s head with his own as he spat.

“You - you  _ asshole -”  _ The word probably could have singed the tips of Sylvain’s hair with the heat they held, and the man attempted to lean back from the seeping rage of the other. “You  _ ruined EVERYTHING.”  _

“Felix - Felix calm down.” Sylvain tried, the book slipping from his grip as he attempted to ease the grip on his shirt as he placed both hands on either side of Felix’s arms. “What happened  _ now -” _

“-YOU MADE IT WORSE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” 

Sylvain probably would have been blown off his feet at the intensity of the yell, but he was held fast in Felix’s grasp and he could squint his gaze as his eardrums quite near burst. 

“What the hell are you TALKING about, Felix!?” Sylvain tried to plead, sincerely afraid he was going to die in that moment. 

“My form - my  _ form  _ -” Felix hissed, and a fist yanked against Sylvain’s shirt, bringing their faces inches from each other. “Was entirely off - it was  _ worse  _ \- it was  _ worse, Sylvain.”  _

The repetition of his phrases was making Sylvain’s lips turn upwards uneasily, hands again grasping at Felix’s wrists to try and ease the force of the grip he had on him. 

“I don’t understand - how is  _ that  _ my fault!?” 

“YOU LIED!” Felix bellowed, finally shoving Sylvain backwards away from him - nearly toppling him out of his chair.

Felix strode to the other side of the room, hands in his messy hair before he jabbed a finger directly at Sylvain’s face. “You said it would  _ help!  _ At the least, I expected it not to work, but you made it  _ worse!”  _

Sylvain’s eyes widened in disbelief, then in confusion, then a blink and suddenly it had clicked and he dropped his head into his hands. After a deep breath, Sylvain lifted his head and waved his hands in front of him. “Wait, wait, wait - hold on, just listen -” He tried to begin, Felix’s blazing eyes watching his every movement. Finally, Sylvain took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair as he smacked a hand against his forehead. “Listen - Felix - I - I can help but I just really don’t think you’re gonna like my suggestion…” 

Felix watched with gritted teeth as Sylvain’s hand ran down his face, as if he had the right to act as frustrated as he was. 

It was enough to make him explode again. “What fucking suggestion!? FIX THIS, YOU IDIOT!” 

Felix was pretty sure that the entire hallway could hear them, but thankfully tonight happened to be the end of the academy week, and the majority of students were out later, some even abandoning their dorms to spend it with others. 

He just hoped Dimitri was actually honest about the fact that he had someone he was going to meet that night - his room was  _ right  _ next door. 

But currently, that didn’t matter - and Felix’s eyes watched like two lightning bolts as he waited on Sylvain’s response - which came out as a splutter first. 

“You - Felix - you - AGH - FELIX YOU CAN’T JUST JERK OFF ONCE AND HOPE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED.” 

Now he really hoped Dimitri was serious. 

Felix’s form was stiff, lip twitching slightly as the words rang loudly between them. He watched in blank fury as Sylvain leaned back again, a sigh escaping through his lips. 

“That was barely anything…and only  _ once. _ ” The redhead continued, scrubbing a hand down his face once again before he turned to offer Felix a blank look of irritation. 

Moments passed, but Felix refused to budge. He kept his lips pressed together as he watched as Sylvain tried to piece together what he wanted to say next. “So...so maybe we...er - maybe  _ you  _ should go further -” 

_“Further!?”_ Felix spluttered, arms flailing on either side of him. 

Sylvan’s sigh was loud and annoyed in a way that didn’t quite make sense, and suddenly his eyes seemed to lose a bit of light as he nodded to himself, his next words seemed forced as he offered his advice. “Maybe...maybe you should go find a nice girl. Chat her up - you’re a catch, Felix - so you’ll have no problem -” 

The scoff that puffed through Felix’s lips instantly stopped Sylvain’s next words, and Felix’s jaw clenched in acute frustration as he crossed his arms in front of him - offering Sylvain a disgusted glare. “I’m not going to go up to a girl and tell her to have sex with me to try and fix my issues here,” The words were sharp - almost pointed in their meaning and Sylvain’s eyes instantly narrowed at the meaning. “I’d never use someone like that.” He snarled, fingers pinching into his arms as he kept them firmly crossed against his chest. 

“Wait - hold on - am I not  _ someone?”  _ Sylvain’s voice was a mixture of disbelief and fury, his eyes blazing oddly in the candlelight on his desk. “You’d use  _ me  _ like that?” 

“Are you fucking, kidding? What the hell does that even mean coming from  _ you?”  _ Felix instantly snapped back, “You don’t care about this - don’t even try to pretend - it’s just another quick fix for you, right?” Felix wasn’t sure why his words were armed with such ferocious poison - but their purpose was to hurt - and hurt  _ bad.  _

And to his honest surprise - Felix could say confidently that it looked like it  _ had.  _

Sylvain’s light eyes, that were a moment ago blazing with shock and disbelief, now dissipated into something close to what looked like hurt, and they slowly fell from their spot on Felix’s face to the blue carpet between them until it looked like they were closed. After a moment Sylvain raised a hand to cover his face, his fingers and thumb rubbing harshly at his forehead. 

Felix’s gaze turned away, feeling something close to shame for the things he’d said - and he shifted his feet nervously as the seconds ticked on. 

“...yeah…” 

Felix turned his head towards Sylvain’s voice, who slowly raised his head at the same time he stood to his feet. 

Felix felt every nerve in his body freeze. 

Sylvain’s eyes were dark, the hint of a smile that usually lingered on his face was completely absent, and for a moment Felix wondered if this was as it was like to be on the receiving end of Sylvain’s lance moments before he was brutally speared by it. 

Felix was rooted in his spot as Sylvain approached him closer, the light in his eyes something dark and more sinister as he towered over the shorter man. 

“Strip. Now.” 

The arms that Felix had crossed against his chest as his only defense loosened almost entirely against his will - and Felix’s breath silently hitched as he took a step back from the man in front of him. 

He felt completely unguarded. 

It looked like Sylvain had quickly lost his patience, and before Felix could make any sound of protest, his arm was snagged, and he found his body tossed effortlessly across the room and onto the bed. He landed with a grunt, trying to right himself and regain his balance, but before he could make much use of that he was shoved down again, two strong hands grasping Felix’s wrists on either side of him and he was effectively pinned down against the bearing weight of Sylvain’s body. 

“Sylvain -” His voice was muffled to stop when he felt a rough pair of lips clasp tightly over his, and again that willpower of his to keep his lips closed was lost, and that warm tongue snaked its way into his mouth. Felix had the mind to try and kick the other off of him, but Sylain’s tongue was raking over his teeth and leaving Felix’s body weak against the sensation. 

He has no idea how it’s happening or when it happened, but his shirt is gone in seconds - and he suddenly realized that that ripping sound he heard early was probably when Sylvain had torn it off, and in seconds he suddenly realized his legs are entirely exposed to the slight chill of the room, and he shivers against it. 

He can’t move, his head is in a fog as Sylvain’s lips work around his mouth, and that familiar touch, the one that had been gentle and caressing before, was almost entirely non existent as it freely roamed Felix’s exposed chest, pinching the tender areas. 

“Sylvain - wait -” Felix tries again, doing what he can to push against the other’s with his knees chest to no avail. 

“Shut up.” Sylvain growls lowly at him, and Felix’s body arches against the hand that graced across the soft flesh of his nipples, his breath stolen away as Sylain’s lips suddenly leave their spot on Felix’s mouth. 

It’s hardly any reprieve, as almost instantly Sylvain’s hands reach down to firmly grasp Felix’s cock. His small groan of surprise is suddenly repressed however, as Sylvain’s other hand sneaks its way towards Felix’s face, the fingers forcing their way into his mouth as Felix squirms underneath him when Sylvain begins to roughly stroke up and down his length. 

Felix is left in a fog of confusion - and he’s vaguely aware that this is something he should fight, but he’s still powerless to move against the crushing weight of Sylvain’s body on top of him, he can only obediently open his mouth as Sylvain’s fingers roam freely inside, and Felix isn’t sure he means to, but he attempts to swallow, and he sucks on the digits, coating them in saliva. 

Felix isn’t sure how long it’s been, he’s entirely at the mercy of the strokes that Sylvain has established, his body arching again as another wave of sensation leaves him gasping for air. 

Again, that’s almost cut off, because Sylvain presses over him once again, teeth raking over Felix’s lips as they bite and nip with a renewed vigor.

He can feel Sylvain’s hand traveling down his chest, pinching the skin, down towards his sides, sensitive and exposed - but his moans are shaken when the stroking sensation suddenly stops and the hand that Sylvain had used to ravage Felix’s mouth replaced the position, except this time, it doesn’t stop at his groin. 

“Sylvain - Sylvain -  _ wait  _ -” His pleas are once again silenced as Sylvain darts his tongue into his mouth, eliciting another groan of pleasure as it explores the area, licking across his lips as his mouth sucks on his lower lip. 

“You want this to work, right?” The words are said in a breathless rush, Sylvain’s voice echoes like a muffled sound, and Felix can only squirm as he feels the hand in his lower region press down against the sensitive skin there around his hole. He can feel Sylvain’s own erection growing against his flushed skin, and Felix can only groan slightly in response. “Good. Then shut up.” He growls again, and Felix feels his body jerk, his mouth opening in shock as the first finger enters. 

Felix feels entirely powerless - his body is tensed as it jerks up, subconsciously trying to ease the pressure of Sylvain’s finger working in that area, exploring and expanding.

He barely knows what to focus on - because Sylvain’s mouth is still working down his jaw, still nipping at his skin and leaving wet trails behind. Each sensation leaves Felix without reason, and when the second finger enters, he’s not sure if the cry he let out was in his mind or not, but Sylvain’s dark smirk leads him to believe it probably wasn’t. 

“Good.” Sylvain pants out, the feeling of his fingers exploring, loosening the area in preparation is unlike anything Felix has ever felt and he suddenly jolts again when they thrust deeper, hitting an area that makes Felix spasm with pleasure. 

“There, huh…” Sylvain growls lowly, the tone unable to be described as satisfied or frustrated. And he pushes again, and this time Felix has to bite his lip until it draws blood to stop himself from moaning. 

Sylvain dives forward, eagerly licking at his mouth before he enters a third finger and Felix can feel his eyes leak with tears as his body tries to process the sensations rippling through him. He can feel his cock bouncing, unattended as Sylvain’s fingers work in deeper, lifting Felix’s hips as they roam the flesh inside his hole. 

“Sylvain…” Felix is almost pleading now, and he can’t believe the shameful weakened sound of his own voice as the man continues to thrust his fingers in and out. 

The problem is that Felix  _ does  _ want this to work - he’s  _ desperate.  _ He was willing to try anything to return his abilities - and he’s absolutely positive that’s the reason why his body is so easily giving way to Sylvain’s touch. With that in mind, relenting entirely, he tentatively reaches up a hand and grasps a fistful of the red hair. 

It’s like that’s all Sylvain needs, and his teeth take one last nip at Felix’s lower lip, before a hand slips down to unsheath his own erection - large and bobbing as he moves his hips. The sound of Sylvain removing his fingers from inside Felix is wet, loud and absolutely obscene, and Felix’s head throws back at the sensation, either out of pleasure or pain he’s not entirely sure, but it doesn’t last long. 

“Don’t move.” Sylvain’s voice is a dark command, and Felix’s eyes squeeze shut as he feels the other line up his cock against his hips, and Felix opens his mouth in a soundless cry as he feels Sylvain push the length of it in, slowly expanding the flesh around that area. 

Felix feels like he can barely breathe - it hurts - it hurts  _ badly  _ \- and he can’t do anything to stop it. 

For a moment the two of them are just breathing, and Felix can feel Sylvain’s hot breath against his face, panting down as he finishes sliding all the way inside, and Felix vaguely hears himself whimper as he’s stretched out. 

If he thought that was painful, he had no idea what pain was until Sylvain began to  _ move.  _

Felix’s teeth clench against his hand, drawing blood from the skin as he pants. His eyes squeeze shut as Sylvain mercilessly moves against him, the thrusting a momentum shaking him from the inside out. 

He feels like he’s being split in two with burning coals. It  _ hurts so badly _ \- but then - suddenly his entire body jolts, and he clamps his lips shut to stop the cry that almost escaped. 

“That -” He pants harshly, unable to finish the sentence as Sylvain bores down on him, clearly receiving the message as he begins to move in that area once again at that angle. 

The feeling is unlike he’s ever felt before in his life. The pain feels like it’s splitting him right up the middle, the thrusting motions of Sylvain’s length are in uncontrolled bursts. Felix’s body jerks up in shock, his moan low in his throat when Sylvain’s motions hit repeatedly in the same spot - the euphoric sensation so overwhelming Felix almost forgets the fire ripping through him.

He hits that spot a few more times, and Felix feels his entire body seize up in the pain and pleasure of it, and he grips his own cock, desperate for some relief and gives it the last few strokes it needs before he finally comes, body tensing and shuddering. That seemed to be all it took for Sylvain too, and Felix watches the form above him curve inwards as the orgasm seizes his body and he releases. 

Felix can only describe the sensation as  _ disgusting.  _ He feels the warm liquid pool deep inside of him, and he can only pant out in complete exhaustion, arms limp on either side of him. 

The only sound for a long time is the sound of their harsh breaths, but eventually Sylvain has to move - and Felix wants him  _ out.  _

The feeling of Sylvain pulling out is almost more painful than it was entering, and Felix shudders in pain as the wet sound fills his ears as Sylvain takes himself out.

He can smell it then - sweat and blood. 

He’s sure there’s a tear right through him as he attempts to shakily sit up - the pain absolutely searing. He can see Sylvain’s shadow move out of the corner of his eye, but it’s a foggy image of hardly anything discernible. Felix doesn’t stop his motion, and he somehow manages to stand, blindly reaching for what looks like a cloak draped lazily across the end of the bedframe before he wraps it around himself. 

Vaguely he thinks he hears someone call after him - something that sounds more like a sob than his name - but Felix doesn’t acknowledge it - he needs to get back to his room. 

He thinks he’s going to be sick. 

He’s almost entirely in a daze, the world around him tilting in odd ways as he staggers forward - his memory of how he got back to his room a complete blur. He remembers stumbling down the hallway, fumbling for the door and making a poor attempt at closing it and locking it shut. The last thing he’s aware of is crashing to his knees in his middle of his carpet, the searing agony of it. He lays there, unmoving, feeling every bit of him brim with throbbing pain - but in another way - with pleasure. 

But mainly pain. 

Oh, the  _ pain.  _

The edges of his vision fade around him, and he tries to blink it away, yet slowly but surely it begins to darken until it goes entirely black, and Felix loses himself to unconsciousness. 

  
  


~

  
  


If Sylvain had a theme for his life, it would be 'How many times can I fuck up before I do something permanently damaging?'. 

He was pretty sure he’d finally gotten to that point. 

Large hands threaded through the red strands as Sylvain stared down at his untouched plate of food. 

He barely remembered making his way down to the dining hall that morning - and he was still confused how he got this mess of eggs and sausage in front of him. 

_ Felix.  _

Sylvain groaned loudly, his appetite leaving him entirely, replaced instantly by nausea. His arm shoved away the plate, propping up on the table before his forehead bowed and rested upon his forearm. 

_ Felix.  _

When he’d woken up that morning, the first thought in his head was that he’d once again had that familiar wet dream because Felix’s face was the first thing that came to mind. His body always reacted to the image of his friend’s face in an odd way after a dream like that - but when he actually moved, he felt the sticky, wet sensation move with him. 

Then he looked down. 

Blood. 

He saw blood. 

Sylvain had bolted over the edge of the bed, vomiting his guts out as the absolute dread and fear lanced directly through his heart and into his stomach. 

He had sat there, knees on the ground, arms braced on either side, trembling in absolute shock and horror as the events of the night before replayed in his head - over and over again - 

Sylvain shook his head at the memory of that morning, reaching a hand to wrap around his abdomen as he tried to quell his churning stomach. It took all of his will power not to be sick right there at the table.

He had no right to feel as sick to his stomach as he did - when Felix was probably…

Sylvain groaned loudly again, lifting his head only so that he could cover his face with both hands. 

How...the hell was he supposed to fix this?

“Mornin’, Sylvain!” 

Raphael’s booming voice almost startled him off the bench, and his head flew upwards as the mountain of a man came stomping towards him, the table shuttering as he took a seat directly across from him with two large plates piled with meat. 

A normal, more... _ observant  _ person would have probably taken the hint that Sylvain didn’t want company right at the moment, but Raphael was, well,  _ Raphael,  _ and the large man had lumbered up to him as casually as he would have done to anyone else - likely with the intention of ensuring that Sylvain didn’t sit alone. 

“Hey, Raphael.” Sylvain returned the greeting, offering a weak smile as he watched the other’s face split into a cheery grin. 

“Didn’t eat much there, you feeling okay?” Raphael asked, gesturing towards the discarded plate to Sylvain’s side while he stuffed a large skewer of meat into his mouth. 

Sylvain chuckled - but it sounded more like he was being strangled than he was laughing. He cleared his throat, looking away at the sight of the other devouring the mountain of food before him. “Yeah...not feeling the best today.” He admitted, trying not to reimagine Felix’s face, crinkling up in agony - 

He sighed loudly, hands again bracing his head as he bowed into it. 

“Hmph. Maybe somethin’s going around. You should’ve seen Felix this morning -” 

Sylvain’s head shot up so fast he felt like he could have accidentally snapped his own neck. 

Raphael didn’t seem to notice Sylvain nearly killed himself, and he continued with the task of scarfing down a forkful of egg. “Guy looked like he’d fought a pack of wild wyverns in the rain, up a mountain while wearing heavy armor - ” He paused, shaking his head mournfully, stuffing another piece of food in his mouth as he chewed thoughtfully. “Done that before…” Thankfully Raphael was too distracted with his food to notice Sylvain’s eyes staring holes into him, wide and unblinking while his face increasingly drained of color. 

“You - you saw him?” 

“Yeah, just before I got here.” The large man responded with a mouthful of meat, gesturing towards the commoner dorms.

That was it took before Sylvain rose to his feet, stepping out from the bench in a stumble. 

“Uh - okay, bye, Sylvain!” Raphael called after him, and thankfully Sylvain at least had the mind to wave before he took off in a hurried trot up towards the open door leading to the fishing pond. 

His eyes glanced around as he hurried down the steps, roaming over the area as he tried to spot any sign of that dark-blue head. 

So...he was awake? 

Sylvain had tentatively knocked on Felix’s door that morning - both desperately hoping he wouldn’t answer and also hoping he would. Of course, there was no response, and he was almost tempted to open the door but he was fairly certain that would have crossed a boundary that would have cost him his life. 

He just wanted to make sure he was, at the very least,  _ okay.  _

But what would he have done, then? 

At least now he knew that Felix was up and around, and his heart thundered in his chest at the thought of facing him. 

But he  _ had to.  _

He just - he had _absolutely_ no control over what he did to him. It’s like his entire consciousness was possessed by the thought that _finally_ after all these years of waiting - wanting - that he finally had him underneath him - right where he had pictured. 

But that was certainly not the way he thought it would go the first time they had sex together.

At all. 

If anything, his imagination typically indulged Felix’s pleas for more, his cries indicating how good he felt, face flushed and teeth biting his bottom lip as Sylvain delivers him unimaginable pleasure. 

Not...unimaginable  _ pain.  _

Sylvain almost collapsed right there on the pathway, and he actually had to steady a hand against the wall as his shame, guilt, and self-disgust almost sent him over the edge. 

He...had  _ really  _ fucked up. 

He’d never done anything like that before. Ever. 

After that comment - that comment that it was just a  _ quick fix  _ \- that it meant  _ nothing _ ...he felt like something had just snapped. Because that could not have been further from the  _ truth.  _

And he really had no idea what to do to make it better. Did he need to grovel on his knees? Pledge himself as his loyal slave for the rest of his life? Vow to never have sex again? Chop off his own dick?

Honestly, at this point he might actually do that if Felix asked. 

Sylvain sighed loudly, shoving himself off the wall as he glared above him at the sun. 

The day was far too bright for how gloomy his mood was. 

“Sylvain!” 

_ Oh, no.  _

That voice was way too familiar. He felt his shoulders physically tense as he turned to meet the sparkly gaze of...of…

What was her name again?

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” What’s-her-face’s voice was like a song, her glossy smile bright as her light brown hair bounced around her in long loose curls. She skipped up to him, hands behind her back as her chocolate eyes brightened as she waited for a response. 

“Uh...hey.” Sylvain replied dumbly - the tone of his voice sounded strange in his head as this situation began to grow more wearily on his heart. 

Why did she have to show up  _ now?  _

“You said we’d take a stroll through the market today - maybe pick out something nice?” Her high pitched voice was not as alluring as she probably wanted it to be, and it was clear she was doing her best to accentuate her flirtatiousness with a flick of her hair.

“And...I think I’m ready to take you up on your  _ offer  _ -” Sylvain clenched his teeth as her small hand reached up to tug on the front of his shirt, her eyes half lidded as she smirked up at him. 

Wow. He really did not have the time or patience for this right now.

His mind was completely unfocused, the weight of the sentence not quit making sense in his head as his eyes floated behind her head.

“I -” 

There. 

It was like his entire person was programmed to look for that familiar dark-blue hair - and the second he spotted it, his attention was instantly snagged away from the conversation. 

Felix. 

He was moving - he was - well, Sylvain wasn’t exactly sure  _ what _ he had expected him to look like - but at least he looked  _ alive.  _

If...no… _ definitely _ paler than normal. 

Subconsciously, his body moved around the obstacle in his way, and his mouth opened to shout Felix’s name but was stopped when he felt his arm snagged back by a delicate hand. 

“Hey - where are you going?” Her voice became even higher-pitched with annoyance, and it took a good amount of Sylvain’s self-control not to rip his arm out of her grasp. 

Sylvain’s eyes never left Felix’s figure as the man ghosted through the hall, making his way towards the inside of the building. 

“Felix!” Sylvain called, and he saw - no - maybe he imagined when those light brown eyes flicked his way for a moment, but a second later he had disappeared into the building and he was out of sight. 

He needed to get to him. He needed to get to him  _ now.  _

“You need to let go.” Was all Sylvain could utter coldly as he gently, yet forcefully tugged his arm away from no-name. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken that way to a girl, but he barely had the mind for it as he rushed forward. He didn’t spare her another glance before he dashed towards where he’d last seen Felix’s ghostly apparition.

“Hey - Sylvain! Wait!” 

Her voice was almost background noise as the redhead dashed into the hall, looking left and right frantically, but seeing no sight of the dark-haired swordsman. 

“Shit…” He hissed, stepping further inside as he kept his eyes roaming the large hall. All he could see was heads of a variety of different colors, faces that didn’t matter, and no sight of the one he was looking for.

Gone. 

Sylvain released a long sigh, bowing his head against as his thumb and fingers rubbed against his forehead. 

How could he remedy this if he couldn’t  _ catch  _ the guy? 

  
  



	3. Fix it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow,
> 
> I am SO sorry I didn't post this sooner - I left it hanging in a pretty bad spot - SO SORRY. 
> 
> To make up for it, here's the rest of the story in one chapter. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed ;)

* * *

Sylvain tapped his fingers against the wood of his desk, elbow propped up as he braced his head against his hand. 

He stared blankly at the flickering candle next to him, the discarded book by his side used to be a comfort, but it was now a meaningless jumble of words that offered no distraction to his thoughts. 

He sighed heavily, watching as the flames flickered in the wake of the rush of air. He was unsure exactly what he was still doing awake, still doing at his desk, tapping anxiously away at the material until he was sure he’d wear a hole in it. 

He’d really tried his best to find Felix that day - to try and utter  _ some  _ kind of apology. He’d asked around at first, trying not to sound too desperate, and he’d gotten answers that were either vague, or when he searched the area they recommended he’d already missed him. The thought had eventually crossed his mind that Felix was doing everything in his power to avoid him, and maybe he should let him have his space for the time being. 

He owed him that much. 

So he had given up at that point, resigning himself to focus on his classes that day. Which, he had realized as well, still separated the two of them considering he and Felix had completely conflicting schedules every Friday of the week.

He’d tried to busy himself with the work, but he proved a poor companion in any task that day, earning a few disgruntled huffs and side glances, and he was all-too grateful when the day had come to a close and the weekend could finally begin. 

Head flopped down again on the desk with a  _ bang  _ \- and Sylvain softly cursed at the fact that he couldn’t just knock himself out at the moment. Now he just had a throbbing headache to go along with his depressive state of mind. 

It had been twice now he’d gotten up to go to his door with the intention of marching down the hall, but his feet betrayed him every time and he found himself rooted in place the second he touched the door handle to make his move. 

He didn’t know if he was a coward for convincing himself time and time again that Felix just needed  _ time.  _

And maybe...just maybe...Felix would come to  _ him -  _

_ Knock, knock, knock _

Sylvain bolted upright so fast in his chair he rattled the candle next to him - and he snapped out a hand to prevent it from tipping over. He cursed silently, shaking his hand as the flame tickled a little too close to where he grabbed, but eventually he steadied it - the small flame gradually rising again. 

Heart thundering in his chest, Sylvain stumbled as his foot caught on one of the legs of the chair, and he brought the whole thing down in a loud  _ bang.  _ He was too distracted to care, and he scrambled for the door handle, grabbing at it wildly before he yanked open the door with all of his might. 

His wide, expecting eyes only met face to face with what’s-her-face. 

It was obvious in the girl’s large brown eyes how visibly he showed his disappointment, her face scrunching up in chagrin as Sylvain’s body literally slumped at the sight of her. 

“What?” He asked, teeth gritted as the last of his patience had officially slipped away, and the bare mask of his true feelings towards girls like these seeped through like molten lava. 

“Uhm? Excuse me?” Her indignity at his response and tone had shocked her, and her eyes narrowed into absolute fury as she balled her fists at her side. “You’ve completely ignored me all day - and I even come to your room to get your attention - and you have the audacity to ask me  _ ‘what?’”  _ I should be asking  _ you  _ ‘what’! What the hell is up with you!?” She screeched, her voice like nails on chalkboard and Sylvain barely had the strength to resist slamming the door in her face right then and there. 

He really hated girls like this. Like he  _ owed  _ them his attention - like they had every right to use him like this - 

His lip curled in snarl, and he schooled his expression before he allowed his voice to come out an even tone of warning. “Listen. I do  _ not  _ have time for you. Please go back to your room and forget about this.” He turned in that moment to close the door, but the girl was quicker, and a foot stalled the door from closing and Sylvain’s temper spiked as her indignant behavior persisted. 

“Uh - I don’t think so, Sylvain Gautier - you have no right to throw me away like that!” She had begun to nearly shove herself into his space, but he bodily blocked her, glaring down as his impatience ticked away like seconds. “You think I’m just a piece of meat? There to satisfy you when you want? You have no right to use me as you see fit -”

Sylvain burst out in a mirthless laugh, arms folding tightly across his chest as he threw his head back. After a moment his dark eyes bore down on the girl before him, and his lip twitched into a snarl as he spoke, “Hah - like I don’t know for a fact you’re trying to score a night with me? Maybe I’ll knock you up? Breed you a little crest baby so that your status as a noble will rise?” Brown eyes blinked up in shock, and Sylvain could already tell that he’d hit the nail on the head - and she had not expected to be seen through so easily. His rage festered, and his smile was a twist of sinister annoyance as he continued. “Yeah? That right? You want status, and I’m a great candidate to give you that. Trust me - I know about you and your father’s little scheme - maybe someone will finally notice you because you’ve got the son of the great Gautier courting your precious little -” 

_ SLAP _

This girl was stronger than he had given her credit for and he was nearly sent sailing into the doorframe next to him as the noise reverberated through the hallway. 

“ _Fuck you, Sylvain_ -” She spat, “If you think you’ve gotten rid of me you are _wrong.”_ Her voice was five octaves too high - and the piercing sound of it was like a knife in Sylvain’s skull. Thankfully, she spun on her feet and stomped away down the hallway, only to throw back another vicious glare as she screamed, “You’re going to regret speaking to me like that!” 

Sylvain stepped back into his room, slamming the door behind him before he staggered over to his bed, sprawling out in a limp heap. He slung his arms over the sides as he tried to quell the simmer of anger and annoyance that was roiling in his chest. 

He refused to let the disappointment of that encounter throw him, his thoughts circling the disappointment that filled his chest that that hadn’t been who he had so desperately wanted it to be. 

Instead, he’d just earned another slap to the face - metaphorically and physically. 

Sylvain’s sigh was loud and long, and he watched with a blank stare as the wick on the candle smoked with the doused flames, and he briefly wondered when it had gone out. 

This was...just the worst. And Sylvain was really no closer to thinking of a way he could adequately apologize to him. 

He should be locked away for what he did - lose a limb - sell himself into servitude -  _ something.  _ He’d crossed so many lines, and he could only writhe in his own self-loathing as he tried to find sleep that night. 

~

“Syl _ VAIN.”  _ Ingrid’s voice was sharp and piercing, and Sylvain withheld a groan of pain as he rubbed at his back end. 

Getting knocked on his ass like that was always so painful. 

“Ow...why’d you have to hit me so hard…” He groaned, reaching to the side for his discarded weapon which he realized a second later had been snatched by his opponent.

He was still wincing as he glanced up above him, Ingrid’s form a dominating figure force of nature as she stood over him, lance in hand and glaring blue eyes sharp as daggers. “You waltzed in here and picked up a lance - what the hell did you think was going to happen!?” She chided, shaking her head as she reached a hand forward to pull him up. “You never train on Saturdays - in fact - you never train unless you’re being forced to.” Sylvain grunted as he was yanked to his feet, never ceasing to be surprised at how strong this girl was. “Are you practicing being a sitting duck on the field? Because your impersonation is perfect.” She rolled her eyes, dusting off one of Sylvain’s sleeves before she handed back his lance. 

He laughed listlessly at that, shaking his head. “Just thought I’d try a new - er - technique.” 

“A new technique, huh?” Ingrid’s brow quirked, “And what that might be?”

Sylvain really hadn’t thought this excuse through, and he reached up a hand to rub the back of his neck as he tried to come up with something, “To...well - something that I read a while ago that - er -”

_ Nice one, idiot. _

Ingrid’s head fell into her hand, a sigh escaping between her lips. “You don’t need to lie to me, Sylvain.” Her head shot up and her arms folded before she stared at him - expression entirely deadpan. “Which girl are you running from this time?” 

Sylvain actually blinked, confused at the statement but his entire body slumped forward as he shook his head. “No - no, no not -” 

“Where’s the mess this time, Sylvain - who do I need to apologize to?” 

_ A certain dark-haired person that you know very well.  _ He kept his thoughts to himself but he threw his head back as his hands came up to cover his face. 

He’d thought that maybe if he stayed in the training grounds long enough that Felix would come by - the guy practically  _ lived  _ here - but he’d been here for the last three hours and there was still no sign of him. He didn’t want to go around asking where he was again like last time, afraid that Felix would turn tail and disappear entirely if he did so. 

So he’d done his best to find him on his own, but so far the guy was like a phantom - entirely unable to be tracked and nowhere in sight. 

It was a weird day in general though, the people who were usually in the training grounds seemed to have dwindled, and he’d even see Dimitri taking a casual stroll with Claude that morning instead of dedicating himself here with Felix like he usually did. 

He wanted to ask him why Felix had changed plans for that morning - but he felt like there was no way Dimitri wouldn’t find his constant pestering suspicious, so Sylvain took up his lance and decided to wait for him here.

But all he was rewarded with was an ass beating by his childhood supervisor. 

“No, Ingrid. There’s no girl problem this time -” 

“I find that extraordinary hard to believe considering Viola very nearly took my head off telling me what you did to her -”

Oh shit. That’s right. 

He remembered the sting of the slap last night and had to keep himself from rubbing at the cheek as the phantom pain tingled.

“No - no not that -” 

“I’d be careful of that one, Sylvain - she’s probably going to try and kill you -”

“NO, Ingrid - just listen it’s not -” He sighed heavily, using the lance as a crutch as he bowed his head. “Okay - okay  _ fine -  _ I’ve been looking for Felix.” He relented with a sigh, shifting his weight nervously as he confessed.

“Felix?” Her eyebrows jumped up in surprise. “Why are you so weary about that?” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “What happened?” 

Sylvain felt the blood drain from his face, and he’d once again winced at that familiar twist in his gut as the thoughts of that night came rushing back. “Nothing...we just got into a little fight and I wanted to apologize to him…”

Ingrid popped a hand on her hip, “And you thought you’d find him here? Okay, wait - that actually makes sense.” 

Sylvain nodded, then hurriedly added, “But don’t - don’t tell him or anyone I’m looking for him, okay? You know how he gets.” 

Ingrid could only nod in agreement, sighing as she looked away for a moment in thought. “Okay, look - he’s not here. But I do know that he’s with our professor.”

Sylvain’s eyes blinked, waiting for more information that could possibly lead him in the right direction. 

“Where?” He asked, hope igniting in his chest. 

Ingrid shrugged, wiping back a few sweaty strands from her forehead as she looked up to squint at the blazing sun. “Dunno. They left early this morning. I know Felix has been looking for a way to improve his form - maybe he took him somewhere to help with that?” 

_ Something to improve his form.  _

Yeah, he knew that much. 

_ Shit.  _

Sylvain sighed deeply, lamenting the fact that he’d gotten his ass kicked so early in the morning for no reason at all. 

He had no idea where he and the professor would have gone, either - the professor, for how calm and collected he looked, always had some strange idea to give his students the best one-one-one sessions to improve the areas they needed work on. 

“Well, that’s great.” The redhead bowed his head, voice tinged with annoyance. He shook his head before he made his way over to the weapon rack to replace his lance.

“Sylvain -” Ingrid’s voice was low with warning, and he turned to see her giving him a pointed glare. “Whatever you fight you got in - you need to solve it. Now. We have a mission coming up and when you two are at odds the entire battalion suffers.”

Her voice was a sharp reminder of that, and Sylvain honestly couldn’t agree with that more. He pursed his lips, nodding in agreement as he set down the lance on the rack. 

“Yeah. I’ll do my best.” He said that more to himself than Ingrid - and he nodded at her before he turned to leave. 

“Good - but -  _ hey  _ \- Sylvain! What about Viola? You’d better not make me clean up after you again! Sylvain!” 

Sylvain made a pointed hop and skipped through the training doors, running for his life before he found himself pierced through by a training javelin. 

  
  


~

  
  


Fingers once again drummed against the same wooden desk likely in the same spot, at the exact same time he had last night. 

Well, today had been another complete waste.

He hadn’t even caught a glimpse of his childhood friend that day. He had waited patiently, checking with the gatekeeper a few times to see if Felix and the professor had returned. It took a long time, but finally, when he learned Byleth had returned (much to the gatekeeper’s usual delight) he was going to track down Felix, but Hannamen had requested his help with his crest research - and thus far Sylvain had managed to give him the slip and get someone else to go in his place. However Hannamen was persistent this time, and Sylvain found himself as his test subject for a large portion of the day. He hadn’t seen Felix at the dining hall for dinner either, and when evening fell, he had considered approaching Felix in his room, but every time he stood before the door he found himself frozen in place. Eventually, he always turned around and headed back to his own. He just didn't want to corner him like that - or more likely Sylvain was just a coward.

It left him even more depressed than the night before. The side of Sylvain’s head rested against his forearm, watching his fingers drum as their shadows danced in the flickering candlelight. 

Fuck. 

He really just wanted to curl up and die - and Ingrid’s persistent questioning that day really hadn’t helped with the situation. 

_ “Whatever fight you got in - you need to solve it. Now.”  _

He wished it was that easy. 

He shifted his hand to play with the cover of the book he had once been so invested in, flipping it up lazily and watching it close as the soft puffs of pressure pushed back his hair. 

_ Knock, knock  _

Uh-oh. 

The promise of -  _ goddess  _ he had forgotten her name _again -_ rang in his ears, and he pointedly ignored the raps on his door, furrowing his brow as he tried to think of all the reasons why he once cared that there was a girl at his door. 

_ Knock, KNOCK _

“Fucking kidding me…” He cursed, shoving his chair back as he stood to his feet, brows already fixed in a glare as he stomped up to his door, fully prepared to tell brown-hair to  _ fuck off -  _

Every bone in Sylvain’s body froze the second he yanked open the door - the expression set on his face melting away into one of utter disbelief at the sight before him. 

Scrunched brows and indignant eyes stared up in a steady glare, the familiar head of blue was soft and hanging loose around his face, glimmering softly in the moonlight that streamed from the windows behind him. His loose nightshirt, which Sylvain noted with a cringe was  _ brand new,  _ was hanging loosely around him, loose enough to expose his collarbone, yet fitted nicely to show his lithe frame. Sylvain honestly couldn’t say whether or not he thought Felix looked beautiful in that moment or utterly terrifying. 

“...uh...uh…” Sylvain was  _ so _ proud of how articulate that sounded, and he mentally gave himself a few jabs in the back in praise. 

Fucking idiot. 

“You look like a moron. Let me in.” 

Sylvain could barely breathe as Felix’s form brushed past him, the scene ringing familiar from the first night this had all started - 

The redhead instantly stopped his thoughts, his entire body as stiff as a board as he slowly turned around, softly closing the door behind him and likely his only escape from the certain death that awaited him inside. 

He finally managed to step forward meekly, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides in a nervous tick as he dared to lift his eyes towards where Felix was standing. He tried in vain to control the pounding of his heart and the poor expansion of his lungs as he attempted to breathe properly. The seconds tick on, and finally Sylvain can’t take it anymore and he gestures weakly before he speaks. “I...uh…” 

Wow. He’s doing a  _ great _ good job at apologizing so far. 

Felix crosses his arms and rolls his eyes, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s still not working.” He stated flatly, sighing in annoyance, but his body shifts, and he props a hand on his hip as he gestures forward. “But it was better these last few days.” 

Sylvain is at a complete loss. His brain cannot compute the words he’s hearing and he blinks dumbly at the other man before him. “...what?” He asks smally.

Felix sighs in annoyance, rolling his eyes once again as he crosses his arms. “My  _ form.  _ Our professor says it’s...better.” 

Oh. 

_ Oh.  _

That’s what this entire catastrophe had been about to begin with - how the hell had he let that slip his mind? “Oh - oh, that’s - that’s good.” Sylvain stuttered, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck in a nervous gesture, his lips tipping in a small side smile. 

Felix stared at him though - cold and collective and he scoffed before he gestured a hand at him as he spoke, “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

Sylvain is almost struck dead by those words - and his eyes widen as a hand comes up to smack his forehead. “Felix - pal - are you  _ okay ? _ _”_ The words are said in a rush, and he feels like the room is way too small for the space he wants to leave between him and the beautiful terror in front of him. The only response he got was a quirk of Felix’s dark brow, so Sylvain continued, heavily considering throwing himself to his knees in front of him. “I seriously didn’t mean...look - I had no intention of - I didn’t want it to be like -” 

Felix puffed out an indignant breath, Sylvain’s eyes locked onto every gesture - every shift of his expression. “Yeah. You’re a jackass.” He grumbled, eyes glaring daggers at Sylvain’s nonplussed expression. “That fucking  _ hurt,  _ idiot.” 

Sylvain was left speechless, but his thoughts quickly turn towards the motion Felix makes to grab something at his side, and he was absolutely convinced it was some type of explosive device as Felix lobbed it his way. He instinctively caught it, however, and silently thought that he was way too ready to die at this point. 

But instead of a bomb, he’s staring down at a small, clear liquid bottle. The contents looked thick as it settled in the container, and Sylvain’s eyes shoot up in a confused gawk at the man before him. 

Felix wouldn't meet his eyes, however, and he stared to the side, a frown set into his brows as a light blush coats his cheeks. “...this should help.” 

Sylvain’s brain was only filled with question marks - he could see them dancing around in his head as he tried to understand what exactly was transpiring between them. 

His confusion was as plain as day, and Felix once again let out an annoyed sigh, and his face fell into his hand as he facepalmed at Sylvain’s remarkable idiocy. 

“You really are dim-witted. It’s lubricant, you  _ moron.” _

Sylvain’s entire body froze, and he was pretty sure his eyes were going to pop out of his head - or maybe he was having an extremely vivid hallucination and this was going to disappear in a moment. But as he continued to stare wide eyed at the man before him, the image didn't disappear, and instead Felix continued on with sure resolve. 

“Mercedes infused it some kind of soothing potion - and apparently it can help -” 

“This is - you - I - WHAT!?” 

Felix’s eyes squinted as he watched as Sylvain’s face went from pale, to red, to nearly purple as he tried to process what exactly Felix had been saying to him in these last few sentences. His hand clenched the bottle in his hands, raising both to press the palms against his forehead as disbelief coursed through him.

“I - I thought you came here to kill me!?” Sylvain’s voice was almost as high-pitched as the girl he had sent away the night before, but Felix huffed out an indignant puff of air, his lip almost twitching into a smirk as he rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah. I was going to for a while. Believe me.” He shot Sylvain a vicious glare, “It was the first thought on my mind that morning. But - you know - I couldn’t exactly  _ move.”  _

Sylvain’s face drained of color, and he felt his knees go weak at the thought of how much pain Felix had been in not to follow his instincts to march right up to Sylvain and slay him on the spot. 

“So, I was forced to wait it out.” Felix continued with a sigh, shifting his stance to prop a hand on his hip again as he locked eyes with Sylvain’s gaze. “I calmed down eventually and thought it through and it…” He paused, releasing a breath through his nose as he bowed his head slightly. “Okay - look - it wasn’t  _ all  _ bad. You were just a fucking idiot. So this time you can be a fucking idiot and  _ not  _ disable me.” 

_ This time this time this time this time this time - _

The words are said on repeat in Sylvain’s head - dancing around like bunnies. 

He had to physically shake his head, and eventually Sylvain bowed his head and caught it with his hand. He couldn't think about what that meant - he needed to focus on the fact that he had hurt him that  _ badly  _ to the point he couldn’t  _ move.  _ “Felix...I’m...so sorry. I  _ really  _ am -” 

Felix cut him off with a scoff, “Whatever. A little bit of magic and I was good as new. And more importantly,” He quirked a brow at Sylvain, nodding as he spoke, “our professor said I improved so -” 

Sylvain had been repeating Felix’s words in his head - making sure he understood them properly, but he felt like his thoughts shattered when something popped into his brain - 

“Wait - WAIT -” Sylvain waved both hands in front of him, shaking his head at the same time as he tried to make sure he had heard the name correctly. “Mercedes?” 

Felix blinked at him, eyes bored as he watched Sylvain dissolve before him. 

“You said -  _ Mercedes…?”  _ Sylvain’s voice was no more than a squeak of air.

Felix’s resolve was entirely unshaken, and he rolled his eyes as if that was completely obvious that he’d bring her into this. He gestured with a hand towards the bottle in Sylvain’s hand. “Yes, she helped me with that.” 

Sylvain’s only response was to try and laugh it off - but he may as well have had a pair of hands around his neck for how strangled the sound came out. After the initial shock, however, the thought slowly came to him that - yeah - if anyone would help Felix out like that it would absolutely be Mercedes. She was good with secrets, and she had an obvious soft spot for Felix. 

“I...uh...I see.” He managed to find some words, and it was clear they were forced when Felix’s eyes darted to the side, and if Sylvain didn’t know any better he’d think he was nervous. 

An awful, awkward silence filled the entirety of the room, and Sylvain couldn't even find the courage to fidget nervously in front of the other man. Felix’s eyes never left him, instead they seemed to continue to narrow further and further until Sylvain felt like he might ignite under the heat of the glare.

Finally, Felix let out a harsh sigh, rolling his eyes then lifting a hand to run it through his loose hair. “You...Sylvain - look - you - you - UGH -” Felix’s foot stomped heavily on the ground, fists balled at his side as his face twists into a shout. “LISTEN, IDIOT - YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!” 

Sylvain only blinked back at him - carmel eyes wide with confusion. 

“Look - we’re friends, okay? It doesn’t... _ fuck  _ \- it doesn’t  _ mean  _ anything, ALRIGHT!?” Felix was red in the face now, hand on his hip and head turned away as he scrambled for the right words. Felix didn't give Sylvain a chance to fully process what he was saying, however, and continued with a look of mixed indignity and worry. “You owe me a damn favor and right now this is the only thing that’s working - so can you just - can you stop  _ looking  _ at me like that!?” Sylvain was pretty sure he saw something akin to a plea in his eyes as he shouted, and his heart thudded weirdly in his chest as he took in the words. 

Felix didn’t...want this to mean anything. He was assuring Sylvain that this  _ didn’t  _ mean anything. That this was just to help with his training - it was a one time thing. 

In a way he couldn’t describe, it hurt. 

Felix clearly didn’t get the message though, and continued on without meeting Sylvain’s gaze. “I just want to get my rhythm back - so -  _ fine.  _ I’ll say it.” This time he met his gaze and his arms crossed in front of his chest as he spoke, “I need your help, you damn idiot.” 

Sylvain suddenly realized that the entirety of this conversation Felix had completely misunderstood Sylvain’s weird looks. He had taken them to mean that Sylvain thought this was getting out of hand - that maybe he thought that  _ Felix  _ was the one who perhaps wanted more. 

But...now was really now the time to tell Felix the truth. Not that he ever thought it was a good time. So he sighed, lowered his gaze and decided he should just go along with it. 

“You can continue your insatiable habits with those girls - I don’t care -” Sylvain felt a pang go through his heart at that, but he tried not to let it show. But, again, Felix must have taken that the wrong way as he pressed on. “I really don’t care - but just help me first, alright? You owe me.” 

Silence rang for a few moments before Sylvain finally slumped his shoulders, lifting a hand to catch his forehead as it bowed. A small chuckle escaped through his lips - entirely disbelieving what he was hearing and at the same time completely relieved that Felix wasn’t here to kill him - or worse - end their relationship entirely. 

Though something was still not quite sitting right in his heart - and it hurt his chest to hear the words  _ I don’t care  _ ring again and again in his head. 

He tried to shove it out of his thoughts, taking a breath before he lifted his head and crossed his arms loosely in front of him, meeting Felix’s eyes with a smirk. “Okay - look, I’m sorry. I won’t be weird about this anymore - I was just worried about you, okay? Things didn’t exactly...go well.” Sylvain was eyeing the open window, wondering if he would die instantly if he jumped out and hit the ground from this level. 

Felix only scoffed again, rolling his eyes with a shake of his head. “Tsch, yeah - that  _ hurt,  _ moron.” He repeated, but it was like he was talking about having gotten a whack to the hand rather than - well - rather than  _ that.  _

Sylvain clenched his hands, coming to a realization again that he held a small bottle in one of them, and he took a breath before he shook his head. “Yeah...I know...I really am very sorry…” He sighed, but a second later he flicked his eyes to the bottle in his hand, “So what you’re saying is...you...you want…?” He had no idea why he could barely say the words, but Felix was already nodding as he spoke. 

“It’s - er -” Felix shyly looked away, a frown on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck, “it’s helped. So I’m sure.” 

Sylvain was absolutely unsure how he managed to convince Felix into this position - especially after what he’d done. And he double checked his sanity to make sure that he wasn't just imagining Felix saying he wants to  _ try again.  _

Sylvain shuddered as he thought about that night - the blood - and he clenched the bottle nervously as he holds it up. “Are - are you  _ sure  _ this will work?” He asked, voice hoarse with trepidation. 

He expected Felix to call him another name, to roll his eyes again, but the man instead shifted on his feet nervously, face flushing a bright red as he coughed into his hand. “Yes...yes, I’m sure.” 

Sylvain felt something hot go straight through him, and he pressed his lips together as his dirty mind immediately imagined everything that could go along with the meaning of  _ that.  _

Had...he  _ tried  _ it?

He could already feel his body react to that statement, and suddenly the atmosphere between them began to shift, and Sylvain never took his eyes off of the other man before he slowly took a step forward. “...alright, only if you’re sure…” He said lowly, each step careful as he closed the small distance between them. 

“Wait.” When Felix held up a hand - Sylvain  _ instantly _ pulled back - hands up and away as he nearly careened backwards to the other side of the room.

Felix’s lips actually parted in a small chuckle at the immediate reaction, but his cheeks were painted a light pink as he cleared his throat, taking a breath before he approached Sylvain who had almost backed himself up against the wall behind him. 

Sylvain watched every movement with the utmost care, eyes never leaving Felix’s face as the man reached for his shirt, grasping it with a grip that was usually painful to be on the other side of. But this time Felix simply pulled him off the wall and guided him to the side of the bed. “I...look...you’re doing me a favor so…” His face was as redder then Sylvain’s ever seen, and that familiar frown has made its way back onto his face as he forced out the next words. “...sit down, okay…?” 

“Uh…” Sylvain had no idea what to do with himself, and Felix had to physically shove him back on the bed so that he actually _did_ sit down. 

He fell back with a  _ fwump,  _ and Sylvain barely knew what he should do before Felix was getting on his knees in front of him. The image had already sent a throbbing sensation right to his groin, and his breath hitched as he watched while Felix’s fingers, trembling just slightly, loosened the knot on Sylvain’s pants, pulling at the threads to loosen the laced string. 

Felix took the bottle out of Sylvain’s hand then, placing the vial on the side table while Sylvain vaguely thought that this was completely backwards, that he should be on his knees and Felix should be the one sitting where he was. 

But he didn't know how he would go about describing that the entirety of their interactions together had been something he’d thought about so many times before - that he’d have given  _ anything  _ to have one night with him - and that Felix should not feel as grateful as he does thinking that Sylvain is doing  _ him  _ a favor. 

It made him feel guilty, but not guilty enough not to let out a low sigh that sounded more like a groan of pleasure as Felix fed his cock through his pants, his hand slowly stroking up and down the length. He was already semi-hard, and Felix flashed him a look, but it was so quick that Sylvain thought he imagined it.

“Felix, you don’t have to do this -” Sylvain tried through a breathless pant, though he was already feeling his hips begging to buck under him, he held himself still. 

As if in response, Felix narrowed his eyes before he slowly lowers his head, and Sylvain threw his head back when he felt a hot tongue take a curious lick up the length of his cock. “Shut up.” Sylvain felt the hot breath raise goosebumps along his spine, Felix’s voice was low and he was barely prepared for when Felix took the tip into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. 

Sylvain wanted to jolt with the pleasure that the sensation elicited, and his vision felt hazy as he felt Felix’s hand grip the base of his cock, pumping up and down with the rhythm he had established with his mouth. 

He didn't know when the thought comes to him, but Sylvain could tell Felix was still learning how to do this - he needed to adjust himself a few times to find the right angle, the right rhythm, but Felix had always been a fast learner, and it wasn't long before he found just the right way to make Sylvain groan as he worked his lips over his cock, licking and sucking while his hand moved the length up and down in languid strokes in time with his mouth.

_ “Fuck - ah - Felix - ”  _ Sylvain could barely speak, his voice was a rasp of air as he shuddered as the Felix swirls a tongue along the tip, and he couldn’t restrain himself as his hips jolted in response. 

Felix lifted his head for a moment, his tongue making quick work to lick the slit, his eyes flashing up for a moment and Sylvain had to try to stop himself from moaning at the sight of his face; lips red and face flushed with that characteristically furrowed brow. “Quiet.” Felix commanded, and continued with renewed vigor to pump his hand down the Sylvain’s length, his head bobbing with it. 

Sylvain’s whole body reacted, and he couldn’t help himself as he reached down to grip Felix’s shoulder, his hand digging in as he feels his hips move without intention, his thrusts moving in time with how Felix is handling him. 

“ _ Fuck  _ \- Felix _ \- mn _ \- I think I’m going to -” His words were a breathless rush, and Felix’s only response was to flash a dark, lustful gaze his way and continue to suck and pump Sylvain’s cock. Sylvain’s grip would surely leave bruises on Felix’s shoulder as he felt his entire body jolt, and his hips moved upwards as he felt himself release, thrusting himself inside Felix’s mouth. 

Sylvain couldn't describe how he felt as he watched Felix take it, and he flushed bright red when Felix simply swallowed once, his eyes dangerously dark. Sylvain almost lost his mind to his lust when Felix lifted his head, giving Sylvain’s cock one last lick before he pulled back, the white liquid dripping down the corner of his mouth. 

Sylvain knew he was on the brink as he watched the image of Felix raise his head; brows furrowed and face flushed across his cheeks, wiping a sleeve across his mouth. 

This guy…

Sylvain felt sweat trickle down the side of his face, and his eyes instantly dove to the lower region of Felix’s body as the dark-haired man rose to his feet - and his hopes were met when he saw that Felix was hard against his pants.

Sylvain let out a puff of hot air in the wake of his orgasm, staring up in a mixture of awe and reverence at the man before him. He didn’t get long to admire him, because Felix was already making his way towards him, and Sylvain backed himself up on the bed as the other crawled on his hands and knees towards him, eyes brimming with a burning lust that Sylvain understood all too well. 

Felix crawled until his face was directly over Sylvain’s, and he looked both terrifying and stunning as the candlelight flickered behind him. Sylvain instantly felt the hormones flow through his body, reigniting that fiery desire. 

“You’d better not let me down.” Felix’s voice was a dark threat, and Sylvain felt it go straight to his groin.

A sharp intake of breath and Sylvain moved. His hands brace on either side of Felix’s face as he pulled him down for a kiss. His mouth turned to work over those smooth lips, and Sylvain could’t decide if he was more delighted or surprised when he found that Felix was actually moving his mouth with him -  _ eagerly.  _

The wet sounds of their lips moving together filled the room, and it was a minute before they had to pull away, both panting slightly from the exertion. Felix’s eyes were dark and glassy, almost unfocused as he tries to pierce Sylvain in place with his stare. It wasn't a second later that Sylvain lifted himself up again to meet Felix’s lips, not giving any thought as to why he may have pulled away, just wanting the warmth of their contact back.

“Tsch, moron.” Felix said through an exerted breath of air as he returns the kiss, almost unconsciously, “I just sucked you off.” 

Sylvain’s lips smiled against Felix’s, and if it was a small attempt to get Sylvain to stop kissing him it didn't work, in fact, Sylvain proceeded to move his lips more aggressively until he felt Felix open his mouth so he can slip a tongue in and lick the inside of his mouth. 

They pull back slightly for breath, and Sylvain was already smirking at Felix’s indignant expression. “Yeah,  _ I know.”  _ He emphasised, and he enjoyed the way he saw those dark eyebrows rise slightly in shock. 

Felix only offered him another glare, but those eyes close a second later as Sylvain crashed their lips together for another kiss. Sylvain’s resolve was melting away again as he felt Felix’s mouth work with his, and he hadn’t really known how compatible they would be considering Felix had let Sylvain do most of the work last time, but this time Felix was willing to try - he wanted this to work so he was kissing him back and it felt  _ so good.  _

Sylvain didn'’t waste another second before he lifted himself up entirely, rocking Felix’s body back until he was forced upwards. Felix was stubborn though, and he didn’t fall onto his back like Sylvain had wanted. Instead, he kept one hand on Sylvain’s face and the other braced behind him on the pillows. 

Sylvain knew how to take care of that. 

Sylvain’s hands worked their way up the sides of Felix’s hips, fingers groping for the hem of the shirt before he lifted it out of his pants, untucking it so that he can slip his fingers underneath. Felix’s body shuddered at the contact, and Sylvain felt the kiss stutter for a moment as the sensation distracted Felix from their interlocking lips. 

Sylvain let out a satisfied sigh as he felt every curve, every line that Felix’s firm body made. Carved out from intensive training, from his dedication to his practice, and though Felix would be loath to admit it; his dedication to protect those he loves. It was a sign of everything he’s worked for to get here, and Sylvain couldn't get enough of it. 

“You’re...so…” 

_ Beautiful.  _

Sylvain refused to finish the sentence - because this wasn't what this was about - Felix’s body wasn't his because Felix wanted it to be. Felix was doing this to ensure that he hadn’t lost his way with the sword - to ensure that his abilities weren't compromised. 

It made Sylvain sad in a way, but he was quickly distracted from that when Felix’s head dropped to the side, taking a small nip at the side of Sylvain’s neck. 

Sylvain jumped at the feeling, completely unexpected and it sent a hot trail of lust straight through him. “Less of that.” Felix demanded, his hands coming up to cusp both sides of Sylvain’s face as he dove in for another kiss, tongue licking through his open mouth. 

Sylvain didn't need the reminder, but he took the advantage of the fact that Felix didn’t have his hands to support behind him now, and he pushed their bodies together as he lay Felix down on the pillows, returning the kiss with a renewed sense of need. 

His hands managed to slip up Felix’s body, taking the shirt with him in one motion. Felix raised his arms to allow the clothing to come off, and Sylvain relished in the way Felix’s face was already flushed and hot from the contact they had made. 

He took a moment and quickly reached up to tear off his own loose shirt, discarding it, then bore his weight down again. He watched Felix’s expression closely as he does so, and doesn’t exactly know what to think when Felix saw the entirety of Sylvain’s bare chest in front of him. “You…” It was like Felix completely forgot what he was going to say as his eyes moved up and down Sylvain’s bare form. The shine of sweat moved up and down in deep breaths. Sylvain thought to himself that Felix almost looked shocked, confused, but there's a glint in those light eyes that Sylvain couldn’t place - but it was turning him on because it almost looked like the expression of  _ want.  _

Sylvain didn’t wait for Felix to finish what he was going to say; he _couldn_ _ ’t _ wait any longer. He took in a breath, leaning down so that he could put his hands on that firm, perfect body. His hands roamed up and down Felix’s sides, and both lower in a swift motion towards the knot above his pants, tugging at the string until it loosened. 

Felix let out a low groan when Sylvain’s hands brushed over his cock, and Sylvain had to hold back a groan of his own at the sound of it. He didn’t waste any more time, and he loosened the laced up string and made quick work to pull down the pants down Felix’s hips. 

Sylvain is momentarily caught up in the sight, taking advantage of the brief pause to look down at the entirety of the man before him. 

His mind was going to dangerous places, but he couldn’t help but revel in how perfect the body was that’s under him. Firm and taut, every muscle trained specifically to carry Felix through the toughest battles - yet light enough to be swift and agile as he dances his way through enemy lines. 

“Stop  _ staring,  _ moron -” Felix huffed, clearly annoyed by the lack of attention his lower half was getting. 

“Sorry…” Sylvain wasn't actually that sorry, but he showed his sincerity by reaching down to grasp Felix’s cock, the other man moaning loudly when Sylvain began to stroke up and down the length in purposefully careful motions. 

Felix’s head threw back as the motions rock him, and his hips moved upwards into the strokes of Sylvain’s hand. Sylvain didn’t stop, but he leaned forward so that he could lick a tongue up Felix’s jaw, biting softly up the side before he reached his lips, kissing over the smooth texture. 

Sylvain could feel his own erection growing again, poking through open pants, and when his hips leaned down slightly it brushed against Felix’s own cock, and Sylvain moaned at the pressure and warmth it elicited. 

“Sylvain -” 

Sylvain grunted in response, that being all that needed to be said between them as Sylvain reached beside them towards the bedside table. His fingers fumble for the bottle, his teeth raking over the soft skin on Felix’s neck as he finally managed to grapple the clear container. 

He pulled himself off of Felix for a moment, and his cock twitched in desire when Felix let out a small whine of protest. Felix was instantly embarrassed about the noise he made - covering his mouth with his arm as he watched Sylvain unscrew the lid of the bottle. 

Sylvain felt Felix’s harsh panting ring through his head, and his own excitement was just as strong as he began to pour a moderate amount of the clear substance on his fingers, flashing a glance up to see Felix’s reaction. 

And what a reaction it was. 

His eyes were wide, and Sylvain could see his chest heave up and down in anticipation, his cock bouncing up and down slightly with the motion as he tried to wait patiently for what was about to happen next.

Sylvain couldn’t help the smirk that crawled up his face, making a show of taking his time to make sure the smooth liquid can evenly coat his fingers. 

“Sylvain - don’t just…stop fucking around...” Felix’s voice was an impatient whine, and Sylvain felt a mixture of guilt and satisfaction at that sound. 

He wished he could tell him how badly he liked to hear him plea like that. 

“I’m just making sure it’s enough.” It’s not _entirely_ a lie, but he finished his small show and crawled back over Felix’s lean body, the hand with the lubricant making it’s way downwards while Sylvain’s lips trapped Felix’s with his own. 

“Are you ready?” He whispered in a breath, his finger already making a point of sliding down Felix’s thighs, exploring until he feels the area that he’s about to penetrate. 

Felix groaned at the small bit of contact, his eyes rolling back slightly as his body shuddered. “Yes, you  _ insatiable monster  _ \- don’t make me beg.” It was absolutely supposed to sound like an insult, but Sylvain felt the words stir him again, and his head bowed as his cock twitched again in anticipation. 

“Alright…” One hand slipped underneath Felix’s back, arching him up slightly as he roamed the area there, then the other began to slowly make the first finger into the soft area. 

Felix let out a shaky breath, taking his time to breathe through the sensation, and Sylvain was suddenly afraid that he was in pain - and his movements froze. 

“Keep  _ \- keep going.”  _ Felix’s voice was a grit of sound as he took another breath, and Sylvain was frozen in his spot again when Felix took both hands and pulled Sylvain’s face towards him, trapping his mouth over his in a vigorous kiss. 

It was all the encouragement Sylvain needed. His lips met Felix’s eagerly, and he began to move his finger around the soft flesh, gently and mindfully expanding and exploring. 

He could feel Felix’s breath shudder against him, and Sylvain moved his mouth down his jaw to distract him, kissing down the side until he reached the soft earlobe, gently taking it between his lips before he bit at the soft flesh. His satisfaction was granted when Felix elicited a low moan from that, and Sylvain continued to use his other hand to feel along his abdomen, worshipping the smoothness of the skin and the curves his body made. 

“Are you good?” Sylvain asked in a rush, eyes searching Felix’s face for confirmation. He saw him nod sharply, and Sylvain breathed out a shaky puff as he nodded in return. “Okay, I’m going to add another…” 

Felix let out a scoff, his body arching slightly when Sylvain brushed a hand over his chest. “Don’t narrate everything you’re doing to me -  _ mn  _ \- idiot.” 

Sylvain shook his head, suppressing a chuckle but nodding regardless. He could feel the goosebumps rise along Felix’s skin, and he took another ventours nip at the side of Felix’s jaw and at the same time inserted another finger. 

Felix’s breath stuttered, and Sylvain founds himself blinking down at the sight before him, Felix’s mouth was open in a soundless cry, but from the way he was bucking against him slightly, Sylvain knew it was from pleasure. 

He’d like to give himself the credit, but he was certain that the ease of this was only thanks to the lubricant that was making this as enjoyable as it was so far. 

Okay - that, and maybe his many nights of imagining this  _ exact  _ scenario.

“When you tried it on your own...did it feel good? Did it feel like this?” He entered the third finger then, expanding and exploring the area as his other hand reached up to brush against Felix’s lips. He leaned his body forward then, his lips kissing at the smooth skin of Felix’s chest. He took a moment to worship the goosebumps that rise along with every motion of his mouth. Using his tongue, he lapped along the area by Felix’s nipple, and when he entered the fourth finger, he swirled a tongue around the sensitive area to distract from the feeling. 

Felix’s breaths were hurried and short, and Sylvain could see the pre-cum of his cock dribbling down the length. It fueled Sylvain in a way he didn’t think possible, and he sucked gently at the red flesh of Felix’s chest as he worked his fingers in the area, making sure to thoroughly sink in. Felix’s body was accommodating it readily, feeling the muscles in that area clench as if inviting Sylvain in further, the feeling wet and entirely salacious.

“That’s - that’s enough -” Felix stuttered out suddenly, head thrown back as Sylvain’s tongue worked its way up his throat, biting down harshly at the skin there. Sylvain knew what he meant then, but he was enjoying the way Felix was trembling in his grasp with anticipation. 

But he was also losing his self-control - so Sylvain pulled his fingers out slowly, the sound wet with the slick substance of the lubricant and much smoother than before. He found his entire body anticipating the next moment as he looked down at Felix’s face, allowing his teeth to rake at his lower lip before he reached up a hand to explore the length of Felix’s abdomen. “Are...can I…?” He knew Felix didn’t want him to ask, but he had to - he needed to make sure a thousand times that this was what he wanted. 

“I swear to the goddess, Sylvain…” Felix breathed, his expression a mixture of desperation and utter frustration. His hand reached up to aggressively grab a fistful of Sylvain's red hair, forcefully pulling down his head so that their noses touched.  _ “Fuck me. Now.”  _

Sylvain was almost certain he could have come at that moment, but that would have been entirely unfair, so he backed down the tingling sensation that lanced through his body, sucking in a sharp breath as he used both hands to angle Felix’s hips upwards. He lined his cock against the soft entrance, and with a small push, felt the tip enter. 

He moaned softly at the feeling, and he saw Felix’s eyes squeeze shut, and once again, Sylvain was afraid he was in pain - his motions coming to a halt in the terrifying thought that he might make the same mistake as last time. 

“Sylvain  _ \- don’t you DARE stop.”  _ It was a threat that garnered a mixture of fear and absolute lust, and Sylvain’s body was all too happy to oblige to it. With a bit more force, he slid the length of his cock into the soft flesh. Sylvain thought he couldn't possibly feel any harder than he did, but when Felix’s throat elicited a loud moan of the most obscene nature, he felt his cock twitch in response in a way that made his head bow into the pleasure of it. 

“Goddess -  _ Felix -”  _ Sylvain couldn’t really find the words to describe how it felt inside of him, warm and  _ tight, _ but he knew he just had to say his name - make it known that this feeling was incomparable to anything he’s felt before. 

Felix’s hips jolted in response, his hands reaching up to grasp firmly around Sylvain’s neck, pulling himself up to give a kiss that quickly turns more feral as he bit  _ hard  _ on Sylvain’s upper lip. It was all the message Sylvain needed, and he made the first thrust in a careful motion, and both of them had to hold their breath as the wave of euphoria rocked them. Sylvain couldn’t hold back much longer after that, and he gave into the instincts to rock his hips back and forth, feeling Felix’s body seize with each movement. 

Felix’s hot breath was steamy against the side of his face, his nails digging into Sylvain’s back as he took each pounding thrust. 

“You’re taking me so well…” Sylvain breathed in his ear, relishing in the way it made Felix’s body arch as if giving into the praise. Having Felix cling to him like this is already a sensation of itself, but the fact that he was doing this because it felt good was making Sylvain shiver in delight, and suddenly he wanted Felix’s body to cling to him tighter - wanted him to cry out - when Sylvain made it feel  _ even better.  _

“When...you said it wasn’t all bad,” Sylvain’s breath was hot, and he pulled back his head slightly so that he can use his lips to nip at Felix’s jaw, finding their way to the base of his ear and gently biting the soft flesh there. “Tell me how...tell me where…” 

Sylvain’s hips angled just a bit higher, and Felix made a sound, his mouth opening as if to reply but he clamped his teeth shut as Sylvain felt his body tense, and he knew he’d found the spot.

“It’s -  _ there - there.”  _ Felix ground out, hands clawed and digging into Sylvain’s back as the feeling wrecks him. Sylvain listened to the low moans echo in his throat and instantly the redhead was more motivated. He used that to begin to thrust at that angle and pace again. It was obvious from the way Felix was breathing in shaky intervals that he’d hit the spot - and Sylvain’s entire body moved to accommodate that.

“It -  _ ah ah -  _ Sylvain  _ \- it’s so good -”  _

Sylvain moaned loudly in response, hips bucking erratically for a moment before he continued his thrusts - but that lapse in rhythm seemed to do something to Felix, and he let out a growl in his throat as his eyes rolled back. 

Sylvain’s teeth grind together as the feeling of his cock slipping in and out inside of the tight space brings him closer and closer to the edge, and his hand finds his way to Felix’s length, grasping it to begin to stroke him in time with his own thrusts. 

Felix’s body arched at the contact, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he squeezes his eyes shut - obviously repressing the sounds he wanted so desperately to let loose. 

_ But Sylvain wants it. _

“Let your voice out, Fe - let me hear it-” Sylvain panted, leaning forward as he whispered into his ear, licking at it to elicit another violent shiver. “You want this to work, right? You want to fight again?” He thought he saw Felix nod, but he wasn’t sure he wasn't just imagining such a sight, but he continued anyway, hands bracing on either side of the lithe frame as he pumped his hips harder. _“_ _ Let me hear it.” _

Felix tried to shake his head, but Sylvain thrusted harshly again, angling up his hips so that he can get deeper. The dark, sweaty hair flies back from Felix’s face as he threw his head back, and Sylvain felt the euphoric cry he let spill from his throat send a jolt of hot pleasure searing through him. 

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Felix’s eyes were glassy from the pleasure that was overtaking his body, and Sylvain felt like his own voice was going straight to his head as he spoke. Felix didn’t respond, but it was very clear he was almost there, and Sylvain could empathize wholly. 

He listened, Felix’s voice was far more uncontained now, and it was bringing him closer and closer to the edge. The soft moaning underneath him, the slapping sound of their skin making contact with each thrust - Sylvain couldn’t hold back any more, and he pumped Felix’s cock at a faster pace. He saw Felix’s eyes squeeze shut, and he felt him jerk up against his hand as his orgasm rocks his body. It was only seconds later that Sylvain joined him, and his groan was loud and obscene, the orgasm so intense he saw stars in front of him. He briefly recounted feeling his hips thrust in sporadic movements, growing weaker as he released himself, but the world seemed blurry from the intensity of the feeling.

Their panting was the only sound that filled the air between them, and suddenly Sylvain found himself too weak to hold himself up, and he gracelessly flopped down on Felix’s form, head hanging over his shoulder as he tried to reoriente himself. 

_ Holy...shit.  _

That was... _ the  _ best sex he’s ever had. He couldn’t remember a time he’d ever come that hard. 

A low groan stirred Sylvain from his lightheaded thoughts, and he suddenly remembered that he had a warm body underneath him. He lifted his shaky arms to try and push himself upward, and he's staring down at Felix’s flushed face, eyes half-mast as he pants out a few harsh breaths. 

For a moment, all Sylvain can do is stare at him, trying to decide if he’s really  _ actually  _ okay. 

“Don’t...crush my lungs like that…idiot...”

Sylvain’s head bowed in a chuckle. 

He was okay. 

“Sorry…” Sylvain murmured, feeling his heart begin to slow the rapid rate it was at. He still couldn’t believe what just happened - how  _ good  _ that was. He just hoped Felix felt the same, but the man was giving him very little to go on at the moment, and all he could do was focus on his face from above him. 

“Can you - Sylvain -” Felix tried to speak, a hand coming up to weakly push at Sylvain’s sweaty chest, and Felix’s eyes became filled with a weary glare as he furrowed his brow in annoyance at the man above him. “Can you  _ get out,  _ please?” 

Sylvain’s eyes instantly widened, “Shit - sorry.” He winced as he thought back on the last time he had pulled out, and tried his best to be as careful as he could. Felix’s face still twisted up in a scrunch, but it didn’t look like it pained him, necessarily - just that it was uncomfortable. 

Thank you,  _ again,  _ Mercedes. 

Sylvain instantly flopped on his back beside Felix, chest still heaving up and down as he rode the euphoric train of pleasure even as his heart began to calm. 

He still could not believe how good that was. 

“I…” Sylvain tried, a hand coming up to run through his sweaty hair. “Wow…that...” He breathed, still unable to find the right words. He shook his head slightly, staring up at the ceiling. “Do...do you need water or something…?” Sylvain decided to ask, his unease returning slightly as Felix remained silent beside him. 

When he turned his head, Felix was laying on his side towards Sylvain, and when light amber eyes expected to meet Felix’s gaze, he was remarkably surprised to find that those piercing pale brown eyes were closed, and soft breathing is the only response he got to his question. 

Wow...poor guy must have been exhausted to fall asleep that fast.

Well - he could only imagine. Felix probably hadn’t stopped training for two weeks straight since this entire thing started. He’d also been subjected to too many brutal tactics to try and remedy it. Sylvain’s late night skirmishes with him probably weren’t helping either. 

Sylvain’s amber eyes were half mast as he stared at the sleeping face - a small smile donning his lips as he looked on.

He couldn’t quite remember if he'd ever seen someone as beautiful as Felix before. His face still had a hint of redness to it, which only accentuated the paleness of his skin. A small sheen of sweat lined his brow, but his eyes were closed so serenely it looked as though not even an explosion of sound could wake him. His bare chest gently moved up and down, the moonlight outlining the lean features of every muscle. His face was finally relaxed, and that frown that was so permanently set in his face was gone. He looked so much younger like this - it reminded Sylvain of the times when Felix used to follow him around like a shadow back when they were young. 

The tips of his fingers came up to play with the few loose strands hanging down around Felix’s face, his hair down and loose which only a select few people had ever seen. Sylvain sighed and smiles, brushing back the silky strands before he leaned forward, not entirely in control of his actions as he planted a gentle kiss upon the pale forehead. 

_ So cute.  _

Felix was asleep, in  _ his  _ bed…

Sylvain’s hands came up to cover his face, trying to hide his smile from the moon as the joy radiated out of him. 

He let out a happy sigh, silently thanking the goddess again for - well -  _ a lot -  _ then, with careful movements, Sylvain reached over the side of his bed, fumbling for the random cloth he knew was somewhere around there until his fingers grasped it. He gently wiped down Felix’s belly, getting as much of the mess off as he could without waking him. He did the same to himself, then tossed the cloth over the side. Sylvain’s eyes roamed Felix’s face for a moment longer, but eventually he made a gentle attempt to shift the blankets out from underneath the two of them. He was decently surprised that Felix hardly stirred at the motion, only letting out a small sound as Sylvain slipped the last of it from underneath his slim legs. 

With careful movements, Sylvain softly tugged the blanket up over Felix’s shoulder, his heart stuttering a bit when the other made a small motion to snuggle himself further into the plush sheets, but remained fast asleep. 

_ Ugh. So cute.  _

Heart pounding at the sight, Sylvain couldn’t help but reach up a hand again to take back the strands that had fallen into his face, not wanting anything to obscure the sight of it. He wondered if he would ever get a chance to see Felix like this again - but he tried not to let himself dwell on that. Instead, he thanked his lucky stars he had this to begin with, and with a small smile on his lips, Sylvain closed his eyes and drifted into the deepest sleep he's had in a long time. 

~

The sunlight that danced in the room was like a soft reminder that the day was present, but the curtains that were drawn didn’t allow much of it to be seen. Save for the small beam of light that dared make its way through the slit in the fabric, the room was cast in a dim glow. 

However, that small beam seemed to be at just the right position, and it shone a sparkly hue upon the face of the sleeping man in the room. 

Light brown eyes blearily blinked open, squinting slightly at the light that shone into his eyes. He groaned at the disturbance, and shifted himself onto his other side to block it out. 

A second later, the light brown eyes suddenly flashed open, and Felix found himself blinking at the wall in front of his face. 

This...was not his room. 

With a furrowed brow, he found that his clarity was coming back to him as his body woke in response, and he slowly sat himself up to glance around his environment. 

This...was definitely not his room. 

But he definitely knew who it belonged to. 

The events of the previous night came back in small flashes at that point, and Felix found himself scrunching his brow at the odd feeling that washed over him. 

That was...well that was something. No - he couldn’t even just say that was something. That was  _ amazing.  _ It had been beyond anything he ever thought it could be. He tried to push away last night’s thoughts, biting down a lip as he recalled how Sylvain had looked above him, giving him exactly what he wanted - unbelievable -  _ amazing.  _ And the fact that he’d completely passed out afterwards was proof of that. 

But there was another odd feeling he couldn't place - it was warm - it was  _ satisfied.  _

He couldn’t really describe what it was - but he knew that he felt rested. More rested than he had in  _ weeks.  _ When he moved his legs he felt an ache in his hips - but it wasn't even a fraction of how bad it had been... _ before.  _

In fact, the ache is familiar in a way to when he finished a workout routine - a nice kind of ache that reminds him that he worked hard that day. 

So...is that what Mercedes had meant when she had mentioned that the lubricant helped for the  _ day after  _ aches? 

Thank you, Mercedes. 

Felix took in a deep breath, suddenly realizing that he shouldn’t be alone in this room that wasn’t his, and his eyes wander around the small space in a flash with no sign of that red hair. He sighed, not exactly sure what he was feeling but he wouldn't admit that it was  _ disappointment.  _ He looked to the side table, and he blinked at what he saw. A small glass of water with a piece of paper tucked under it and then next to it a set of neatly folded clothes - fresh and ready to be worn.

Felix’s heart made a weird thud in his chest, and he reached over to lift the cup, chugging down the contents in one gulp before his eyes looked to the note. 

_ Morning, sleepyhead. Hope you’re well rested. It’s Sunday, so take your time waking up. _

_ ~ Sylvain _

Felix twisted his lips at the note, trying to repress a smile because was that a  _ smiley  _ face he sees in the corner? 

Finally, with a roll of his eyes he found himself smiling, placing the note aside while he reached for the set of clothes. 

What an idiot. 

He shook his head, pulling on the pair of pants, briefly thinking to himself that Sylvain must have gotten up that morning and set all of this out for him - but being quiet enough as to not stir him. 

Felix forced himself from smiling again, shaking his head. 

This absolutely did  _ not  _ make him happy. This was stupid and unnecessary. 

His heart seemed to jump in disagreement.

  
  


~

  
  
  


Upswing, counter, sidestep then  _ strike -  _

_ CLANG _

Felix’s face split into devilish grin, his pose held tight as he watched the sword of his opponent swing out of his hand - an expression of surprise and admiration beginning to grace the wide purple eyes across from him. 

_ Yes.  _

Felix closed his eyes, takes in a deep breath and turned his head to the side. It was a rare moment when anyone actually saw Byleth smile, but the one he wore now was genuine and full of pride as he nodded that blue head in approval. 

_ Yes. _

“Seems you’ve found your rhythm, after all.” Yuri’s lips upturned in a smirk, arms crossing over his slim chest as he drew Felix’s gaze back to him. “Well done. There’s hope for you yet.” 

Felix scoffed, but a small smirk still danced on the corner of his lips and he nodded at his opponent. “Your help is appreciated.” He admitted with sincerity. 

He really was appreciative. Yuri had never gone easy on him - as if he was always sure that Felix was going to come back around. He just needed to wait it out. The two had sparred together in the past, so he knew if Yuri was holding back. Felix - and he was pretty sure Byleth knew as well - knew that Yuri would always be honest in battle, so he was a worthy adversary. 

He’d managed to get himself ready for the day with relative ease. He thanked the goddess it was Sunday, so there were no obligations that needed his immediate attention and he could take his time just as Sylvain had suggested. He had taken a bath first thing, and was grateful that there were few people he needed to worry about. But he supposed that was because of the time of day it was.

He was still having trouble believing he had slept in until midday. It was an entirely foreign concept, but he couldn’t necessarily make himself feel bad about it. 

It had been a rough week. 

But he didn’t want to delay - he had gobbled down a few pieces of meat and bread for breakfast/lunch then wandered the grounds until he found his professor. It was beginning to become a curious affair as to why he was so often found in the company of the Ashen Wolf leader, but it was lucky for him considering he wanted both of their attention in the training grounds. He’d made his way there with haste, feeling a lightness to his steps that he hadn’t felt in a long while. 

That, and a small ache - but he forced himself to occupy his thoughts with the thrill of their upcoming training session. 

His thoughts were drawn back to his opponent when Yuri nodded, but his eyes flashed to the side seconds before Felix felt an arm sling over his shoulder, and his brows furrowed as he looked down at the arm that was resting there. 

He knew that bare forearm anywhere. 

“Right? This guy doesn’t give himself enough credit.” Felix’s eyes darted to the side, an odd sort of anxiousness crawling up his spine as he listened to Sylvain’s voice next to his ear. He brushed it aside, rolling his eyes but allowed Sylvain to remain perched there. 

“I give myself credit where credit is due.” He responded, and he could feel Sylvain chuckle beside him, his chest rumbling in a way that made Felix want to leave some space between them. 

It was getting a little warm. 

Yuri didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, and he chuckled in a carefree way at their interaction as he took a few steps then bent down to retrieve his fallen sword. 

“How about I take it from here, Yuri? You’ve probably had enough of this guy by now.” Sylvain suggested, hand squeezing the side of Felix’s shoulder as he tugged him closer.

Felix’s expression twisted into an indignant scowl, and he shoved Sylvain’s arm away from him as he crossed his arms and stepped away in a huff. 

Yuri laughed, however, and he nodded his head as he gestured towards where Byleth was standing on the side. “Whatever you say, boys. I’ll excuse myself now. Felix - keep up the good work.” 

Felix sighed but nodded, watching as Yuri all-too happily sauntered his way back towards their professor. 

Felix spun on his feet when Yuri was out of earshot. “Do you want to die?” He glared, but Sylvain had his arms raised above him, hands resting on the back of his head as he leaned back in a casual way. 

“Nah. Just wanna make sure Yuri’s not going easy on you.” He said, turning so that he can make his way towards the weapons rack. He selected a lance, spinning it in his hands once before he straightens. “Gotta make sure you’ve actually got your stuff back.” 

He spun the lance again, walking towards Felix with a weird glint in his eye, stepping to his side before he leaned down and whispered so just the two of them could hear. “I want to make sure my methods...you know... _ worked  _ on you. _..”  _

Felix’s eyes flashed in a second, a weird feeling shooting through him as that low voice reopened memories of the last few nights they’d shared. “Moron.” He scoffed, huffing before he spun the sword in his hand, letting it swing to the side as it whapped against Sylvain’s backside. 

The man jumped in response, carmel eyes wide as he meet Felix’s smirking gaze. “I’m anticipating that you will meet  _ all _ my expectations.” He circled so that he had taken his place across from Sylvain, knees dipping slightly as he readied himself. “Come at me.” 

“Alright, if you say so. But,” Sylvain languidly twirled the staff in his hand, leaning down into a battle-ready stance. “I’m not gonna go easy on you.” Sylvain’s voice was a low rumble, and there wasn't a lot Felix could do to keep a small trail of goosebumps from traveling up his arms. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think that was a poor attempt at a threat.” Felix responded with a sly smirk, and he couldn’t help but wonder where these odd responses were coming from - it was almost like he was - like he was - 

He can’t even bring himself to say the word in his head. 

_...flirting.  _

He grit his teeth and shoved that thought away in disgust, brows suddenly set as he braced himself to charge. 

Sylvain was obviously appreciating this banter, but a moment later he set himself ready and stared with anticipation at Felix from under a pair of dark lashes. 

Felix ignored the way that look made him stutter for a moment, taking a breath before he raised his sword and charged. 

Their weapons met in a clash, and the two were inches from each other for a moment, so close that Felix can see each lash around Sylvain’s amber eyes - the image flashing to a darkened room, the pale face closing in as his mouth readied to meet his -

Felix’s heart lurched, and he shook his head out of the momentary distraction and pushed himself away before he took another swing. It was lazy - it was effortless - and it was very obvious that there was no thought put into it at all as Sylvain easily twirled himself out of the way.

“Huh. Thought you’d be better.” Sylvain said in a cocky laugh, making an impressive show of spinning his lance as he threw it up into the air, catching it with ease as he sauntered around the perimeter of the circle he and Felix had made.

That actually aggravated Felix, and his brow twitched before he made an impressive lunge forward, faking a jab at Sylvain’s abdomen before he switched and went for his arm - it strikes, dropping Sylvain’s defense so that Felix can charge at him, crashing his body into him to knock him easily to the ground. 

They tussle for a moment, but eventually Sylvain grunted and let himself be held in place as Felix pins him from on top, the lance braced over his chest as he prevents Felix’s sword from getting any closer. “Not bad.” The redhead admits with a laugh. Their breaths are labored as their bout increased in intensity, but Felix was distracted again when Sylvain lifted his head slightly so that his lips brush against the side of his face. “But to be honest, I like it better when you’re on your back.” Sylvain’s voice was a tremor of words, and Felix felt himself swallow down the shiver that threatened to crawl up his spine. But there wass an odd sense of pride in Felix’s chest that he couldn't help but indulge, and he pushed down a bit harder with his sword so that he felt Sylvain grunt underneath him. 

“Yeah? I like it better when you shut up and do what I want you to do.” He deliberately dropped his hand down lower, trailing down Sylvain’s shirt until he managed to untuck a small section right above his belt. 

Felix saw Sylvan’s eyes widen, and he truly wasn't expecting him to take advantage of Felix’s lack of balance while the other hand was occupied, and with a grunt, Sylvain suddenly used his strength to push his body and Felix to the side. He rolled them over until Sylvain was straddling Felix on top of him, his lance now a force to push down against Felix’s chest. 

They both paused for a moment, panting with exertion and it was clear they both have the same thought in their head as this position seemed a bit too familiar. Sylvain’s eyes darkened slightly, and he leaned forward before he spoke lowly. “You’ve got some blackmail on me - guess I’ve got no choice but to comply with your  _ every need.”  _

Felix let himself be held down, Sylvain’s face was just inches from him, and the environment flashed from the training grounds back to Sylvain’s room as the picture before him almost entirely resembled their closeness last night. He lifted a knee, a dark smirk coming to his face as he responded. “It seems so...well then, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” 

Something in Sylvain’s demeanor changes, his cocky smirk disappeared from his face, and his eyes widen and blink down as if he was seeing Felix’s face for the first time. “Next...next time?” The words were said in a way that Felix couldn't quite understand, but he realized at that moment what he said, and his eyes widen to match Sylvain’s. 

“...I…” His eyes flashed to the side when he noticed a figure sidle its way to into his vision, and he turned his head as he saw Byleth’s blue head tilt to the side, an expression of unmasked confusion and bewilderment donning his face as he looked upon the two of their positions. 

Oh, shit. 

The moment crackled into shards before them, and Felix rapidly tapped Sylvain’s shoulder - harshly, signaling him to  _ get off  _ \- and when Sylvain looked to see what Felix is referring to, he made quick work to pull himself off of him, reaching down a hand to grasp Felix’s elbow to hoist him to his feet. 

Byleth was still looking at them with a weird expression, and a moment later he gestured with a hand towards Felix. “That’s...not sparring. Sub out.” He said, voice monotonous but Felix thought he saw Yuri duck his head in a facepalm in his peripheral vision. 

He hoped that hadn’t looked as embarrassing as he began to think. 

Felix didn’t even spare Sylvain a glance back, he straightened his shirt and marched towards Byleth, watching as Leonie jogged on and passes him to meet Sylvain with her own lance. 

Byleth fell instep beside Felix as the dark-haired man walked his way towards the weapons rack to select a different type of sword.

“You’ve greatly improved.” Byleth said softly, carefully choosing to ignore whatever the hell that had been between him and Sylvain. 

“Yes, it seems so…” Felix said distantly, making a show of carefully considering his next type of weapon. 

“What did you find worked?’ 

The question was asked casually, but it felt like a spike drove through Felix’s head as the words pierced through him. 

...well…

Felix didn’t answer right away, refusing to meet Byleth’s stare as he felt his ears turn bright red. He kept his attention fixated on the weapon he chose, clearing his throat before he turned, only giving Byleth a small glance as he made his way towards his new opponent. 

“Exercise.” 

And with that, Felix stomped away, dignity and all, leaving Byleth blinking after him in a puzzled way while Felix went to beat the crap out of some poor soul. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
